英文小故事

1.AnUglyWomanMike:Myauntwasveryembarrassedwhenshewasaskedtotakeoffhermaskattheparty.Mary:Whywasthat?Mike:Shewasn"twearingone.丑女麦克：一次舞会上，当大家要求我姑姑拿掉她的面具时，她非常尴尬。玛丽：为什么会那样呢？麦克：她根本就没有带面具。2.CoincidenceAwomanwassinging.Oneofthegueststurnedtoamanbyhissideandcriticizedthesinger."Whataterriblevoice!"hesaid."Doyouknowwhosheis?""Yes,"wastheanswer."Sheismywife.""Oh,Ibegyourpardon."Themansaid,"Ofcoursehervoiceisnotbad,butthesongisverybad.Iwonderwhowrotethatawfulsong.""Idid."wastheanswer.巧合一位女士正在唱歌。一位客人转身对他旁边的男士批评道：“多难听的嗓音！”他说，“你知道她是谁吗？”“知道，”男士回答，“她是我太太。”“噢，请你原谅。”客人说，“当然，她的嗓音并不坏，但那歌实在太差了。我想知道那是谁写的歌。”“是我。”男士回答道。3.AQuestionProfessor:Beforewebegintheexaminationarethereanyquestion?Student:What"sthenameofthiscourse?一个问题教授：在开始考试之前，还有什么问题吗？学生：考试科目的名称是什么？4.Hen"sLegsSon:Whyarehen"slegssoshort?Dad:You"reafool.Ifthehen"slegsweretoolong,wouldn"ttheydroptheireggsintopieceswhenlaying?母鸡的腿儿子：为什么母鸡的腿这么短呢？父亲：你真笨。如果母鸡的腿太长，它们下蛋的时候，鸡蛋岂不都摔碎了?

我建议你去看弗朗西斯 培根的作品，或者去培根的贴吧去问一问

Clean slate “Nothing in the past has any power to affect what you do now.” As you enter this new year,nothing in the past has any power to affect what you do now.You are an entirely new person,different from the person you were.This year has never been lived before,and you have never had the consciousness you now have.You are setting sail on a great adventure determined only by how grand you are willing to think.This year,think big thoughts to create miraculous results 过去的一切都不能影响你现在所做的事情 当你步入新的一年,记住,过去的一切对你现在所做的事情都毫无影响.你是一个全新的人,和过去的你判若两人.这一年是你重未体验过的,你也从没有现在的这种意识.你正在准备一次绝妙的冒险,这次冒险又多绝妙只取决于你花了多少功夫去设计.就在今年,设计好蓝图,去创造不同凡响的结局吧!Is packing important to you …… …… How many times do we miss blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.Sometimes we don"t realize the good fortune we have or we could have because we expect “the packing” to be different.What may appear as bad fortune may in fact be the door that is just waiting to be opened.我们多少次与祝福擦肩而过,仅仅因为他们没有按我们想象中的样子包装好?不要在渴望得到没有得到的东西时破坏你已经拥有的东西,但是记住,你现在所拥有的恰恰是你曾经一心渴望得到的.有时我们并没有意识到我们已经拥有了或者本该拥有的好运,仅仅是因为他的外表和我们想象中的有所不同.其实,表面上看起来像是坏运气的东西或许正是等待开启的幸运之门.这是找来的，如果还需要可以去英语网上找哦。希望能有用