读幽默故事，学习画线部分的内容A man was hit by a cab in the street He was b

知了问机场安检门退回来的螳螂：“过不了关啊？”“安检不让过，他们说登机禁止携带刀具。”（5分）

本题考查“仿用句式”考点，能力层次为E，侧重“表达应用”能力的考查。解答仿写题，先明确仿写要求，后分析例句特点。注意题目要求“动物要改换”，对话金丝即可。

竹林小河边,熊猫一直深爱着**,于是一天它向她表达爱意. 却遭到拒绝.
　　熊猫大吼～为什麼?这一切都是为什麼?
　　**胆怯地说：我妈说了,戴墨镜的都是不良少年.
可以给个满意

谚语是民间集体创造、广为口传、言简意赅并较为定型的艺术语句,是民众丰富智慧和普遍经验的规律性总结.其特点是精辟简短.
歇后语是一种特殊语言形式.它一般由两个部分构成,前半截是形象的比喻,象谜面,后半截是解释、说明,象谜底.其特点在于它特别的形式.
幽默一词最早由胡适译为中文,它的特点在于让人笑过之后还能悟出一些道理.用胡适的话说,它体现了“心灵的光辉与智慧的丰富”.
笑话作为一种文体,其特点是篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙、出人意料,大多揭示生活中人们道德、行为等方面的乖谬之处,具有讽刺性和娱乐性.

今天,公车上,上来了一位老太太,因为是上下班高峰期,车上人很多.
老太太左看看,右看看,都没有人主动给她让座.
于是她对着司机说：司机啊,都没有位置坐啊~
司机回了一句：不然我这个位置给你坐.

我想这个应该是学校老师布置的作业吧?最好呢是通过自己阅读之后,然后做个小笔记,这个也是做这个作业的真正的目的.自己可以找些相关的书籍,每天读一读,记一记,对自己也会有好处的哈!至于故事,类似于掩耳盗铃这些都算是的

先采纳

C

记得采纳哦 本人尽力了

盘子、餐巾

幽默故事
觉得这个更好些了
至于吸引人,首先要美观,不轮是颜色还是字体了,都让人舒服了
其次,插些简笔画也不错的
最后内容要保证,让人有滋有味的品尝完小古诗,好的话增加回头率,而且还能带来新“顾客”
只提供下参考,祝你成功了
补充：
在英语中,也有不少类似我们爱玩的脑筋急转弯的问答题,答案往往出人意表.这些轻松好玩的题目,不仅可以使思维更灵活,同时也可以顺带学到一些英文单词.看看你能答出多少题?
1. What will you break once you say it? （什么东西一说出来就打破?）
2. Will liars be honest after they die? （骗子死了之后会诚实吗?）
3. What always goes up and never goes down? （什么东西只升不降?）
4. Why did the boy make his dog sit in the sun? （男孩为什么让他的狗坐在阳光下?）
5. Why can a bride hide nothing? （为什么新娘子什么也藏不住?）
6. Why is the library the highest building? （为什么图书馆是最高的建筑物?）
7. What is the smallest bridge in the world? （世界上最小的桥梁是什么?）
8. What is the difference between the North Pole and the South Pole? （北极与南极的区别是什么?）
9. What makes naughty boys long to work in a clock factory? 淘气的男孩为什么想去钟表厂工作?）
10. What bird lifts heavy things? （什么鸟能举起重物?）
11.A ship can contain only fifty persons. Now there is already forty-nine persons in it. At this time,a pregnant woman comes on and boards the ship. The ship sinks.Why?(有一艘船只能容纳50人,现在已有49人.这时一位孕妇上了船,船就沉了.为什么?
12. Why is the comet like Micky Mouse? (为什么是慧星像米老老鼠?)
13. Who is closer to you, your mom or your dad? (谁跟你比较亲密,你的妈妈或你的爸爸? )
14. What's the poorest bank in the world? (世界的最贫穷的银行是什么? )
15. What month do soldiers hate?(军人憎恨什么月? )
16.An old woman has lived in one-story house before.Her body is very short. Afterwards,she moves into a big building and lives in the ninth story. However, when she comes back home each time,she always takes an elevator to the sixth story and gets off,then she walks to the ninth story.Why?( 有位老妇人,从前住平房,并且个子非常矮,后来她搬进了一个很高的楼里,住在第九层,但是她每次回家,她总是乘电梯到第六层就下来,然后走到第九层.为什么?)
1. What will you break once you say it? （什么东西一说出来就打破?）
2. Will liars be honest after they die? （骗子死了之后会诚实吗?）
3. What always goes up and never goes down? （什么东西只升不降?）
4. Why did the boy make his dog sit in the sun? （男孩为什么让他的狗坐在阳光下?）
5. Why can a bride hide nothing? （为什么新娘子什么也藏不住?）
6. Why is the library the highest building? （为什么图书馆是最高的建筑物?）
7. What is the smallest bridge in the world? （世界上最小的桥梁是什么?）
8. What is the difference between the North Pole and the South Pole? （北极与南极的区别是什么?）
9. What makes naughty boys long to work in a clock factory? 淘气的男孩为什么想去钟表厂工作?）
10. What bird lifts heavy things? （什么鸟能举起重物?）
11.A ship can contain only fifty persons. Now there is already forty-nine persons in it. At this time,a pregnant woman comes on and boards the ship. The ship sinks.Why?(有一艘船只能容纳50人,现在已有49人.这时一位孕妇上了船,船就沉了.为什么?
12. Why is the comet like Micky Mouse? (为什么是慧星像米老老鼠?)
13. Who is closer to you, your mom or your dad? (谁跟你比较亲密,你的妈妈或你的爸爸? )
14. What's the poorest bank in the world? (世界的最贫穷的银行是什么? )
15. What month do soldiers hate?(军人憎恨什么月? )
16.An old woman has lived in one-story house before.Her body is very short. Afterwards,she moves into a big building and lives in the ninth story. However, when she comes back home each time,she always takes an elevator to the sixth story and gets off,then she walks to the ninth story.Why?( 有位老妇人,从前住平房,并且个子非常矮,后来她搬进了一个很高的楼里,住在第九层,但是她每次回家,她总是乘电梯到第六层就下来,然后走到第九层.为什么?)
keys
1. Silence. （沉默）
2. No, they won’t. They lie still after they die.（不会,他们依旧撒谎.Lie still 躺着不动,依旧撒谎.
3. Your age. （你的年龄）
4. He wants to have a hot dog. （他想要一条热狗.）
5. Because someone will give her away. （因为有人会揭发她.Give away 揭发,在婚礼上把新娘交给新郎）
6. It has the most stories. （它的楼层最多.Story 故事,楼层）
7. The bridge of a nose. （鼻梁）
8. A whole world. (整个世界. a world of difference 天壤之别)
9. They want to make faces. (make face 做鬼脸,做钟表面)
10. Crane. (鹤.Crane鹤,举重机)
11. Because is a pigbot. (那是潜水艇.pigbot,潜水艇)
12.Because it is a star with a tail..(为它尾部有一个星.)
13.Mom is closer, because Dad is father(farther).(因为爸爸是父亲 , 所以妈妈比较靠近.) (更远的)
14.The river bank.(河岸.)
15.March.(行军.)
16.Because she was too short to press the ninth button.(她太矮了不能按到第九层的按钮.)

the two examples are both humorous stories and jokes, only after finishing the whole context can the point be get. besides, the reader will burst into laugh when he undertands the backbround knowledge of the story.
Michael Jackson is an American famous singer, after reading the whole context we understand that the story is ironic about him.

这个笑话挺好笑的.生字应该不多.你自己也学查查字典.(我说个大意噢:一位伊利若州男子离开 冰天雪地的芝加哥到佛罗
里达州度假.他的妻子正在外地公干,准备到时候在佛州会合.该男子到了佛州,驻进酒店,就急忙给他妻子发电子邮件.但是他将太太的网址打错一个字母,结果这封邮件发到了一位牧师太太手里,她的丈夫前一天刚过世,她为此在伤心欲绝.当她打开这封错发来的邮件时,惨叫一声,两腿一蹬,死了.
邮件是这样写的:
亲爱的,
我刚来报到.正准备迎接你明天的到来.
爱你的夫君
对了,这下面真的好热唉.(Illinois是美国东部一个州.冬天很冷.Florida在美国南部,一年气候都比较热.)
A BIG E-mail Mistake 一封致命的邮件
An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida.His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.When he reached his hotel,he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address,he did his best to type it in from memory.Unfortunately,he missed one letter,and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.When the grieving widow checked her e-mail,she took one look at the monitor,let out a piercing scream,and fell to the floor dead.
At the sound,her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in.Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Your Loving Husband.
P.S.Sure is hot down here.

朝霞不出门，晚霞行千里。

谁敢用普通话把这首诗读出来,笑到肚子痛!
谁敢用普通话把这首诗读出来,笑到肚子痛!
一位语文老师,为学生朗读了一首题为《卧春》的陆游的古诗,要求学生听写出来.
x100x100／语文老师朗读如下
x100x100／有位学生听写如下
x100x100／《卧春》／《我蠢》
x100x100／暗梅幽闻花,／俺没有文化
x100x100／卧枝伤恨底,／我智商很低,
x100x100／遥闻卧似水,／要问我是谁,
x100x100／易透达春绿.／一头大蠢驴.
x100x100／岸似绿,／俺是驴,
x100x100／岸似透绿,／俺是头驴,
x100x100／岸似透黛绿.／俺是头呆驴／
看完后,如果你笑了,（嘴角微微笑也算的,）就转一个,

1.身材变的苗条些
2.从生物学的角度,熊猫去掉黑眼圈,在基因进行突变或者基因融合的基础上还是可能的,但是目前看来,很有难度
从心理角度来看,这些梦想都是一种向上追求的精神,总是要有梦想,才能继续前进.

The Old Cat
An old woman had a cat.The cat was very old; she could not run quickly,and she could not bite,because she was so old.One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse.But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away,because the cat could not bite it.
Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse.She began to hit the cat.The cat said,"Do not hit your old servant.I have worked for you for many years,and I would work for you still,but I am too old.Do not be unkind to the old,but remember what good work the old did when they were young."
【译文】
老猫
一位老妇有只猫,这只猫很老,它跑不快了,也咬不了东西,因为它年纪太大了.一天,老猫发现一只老鼠,它跳过去抓这只老鼠,然而,它咬不住这只老鼠.因此,老鼠从它的嘴边溜掉了,因为老猫咬不了它.
于是,老妇很生气,因为老猫没有把老鼠咬死.她开始打这只猫,猫说：“不要打你的老仆人,我已经为你服务了很多年,而且还愿意为你效劳,但是,我实在太老了,对年纪大的不要这么无情,要记住老年人在年青时所做过的有益的事情.”
A man was going to the house of some rich person.As he went along the road,he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road.He said,"I do not want to eat those apples; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat." Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust.
He went on and came to a river.The river had become very big; so he could not go over it.He waited for some time; then he said,"I cannot go to the rich man's house today,for I cannot get over the river."
He began to go home.He had eaten no food that day.He began to want food.He came to the apples,and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them.
Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time.
【译文】
一个人正朝着一个富人的房子走去,当他沿着路走时,在路的一边他发现一箱好苹果,他说：“我不打算吃那些苹果,因为富人会给我更多的食物,他会给我很好吃的东西.”然后他拿起苹果,一把扔到土里去.
他继续走,来到河边,河涨水了,因此,他到不了河对岸,他等了一会儿,然后他说：“今天我去不了富人家了,因为我不能渡过河.”
他开始回家,那天他没有吃东西.他就开始去找吃的,他找到苹果,很高兴地把它们从尘土中翻出来吃了.
不要把好东西扔掉,换个时候你会觉得它们大有用处.
The City Mouse and the Country Mouse
Once there were two mice.They were friends.One mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city.After many years the Country mouse saw the City mouse; he said,"Do come and see me at my house in the country." So the City mouse went.The City mouse said,"This food is not good,and your house is not good.Why do you live in a hole in the field?You should come and live in the city.You would live in a nice house made of stone.You would have nice food to eat.You must come and see me at my house in the city."
The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse.It was a very good house.Nice food was set ready for them to eat.But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise.The City mouse cried," Run!Run!The cat is coming!" They ran away quickly and hid.
After some time they came out.When they came out,the Country mouse said,"I do not like living in the city.I like living in my hole in the field.For it is nicer to be poor and happy,than to be rich and afraid."
【译文】
城里老鼠和乡下老鼠
从前,有两只老鼠,它们是好朋友.一只老鼠居住在乡村,另一只住在城里.很多年以后,乡下老鼠碰到城里老鼠,它说：“你一定要来我乡下的家看看.”于是,城里老鼠就去了.乡下老鼠领着它到了一块田地上它自己的家里.它把所有最精美食物都找出来给城里老鼠.城里老鼠说：“这东西不好吃,你的家也不好,你为什么住在田野的地洞里呢?你应该搬到城里去住,你能住上用石头造的漂亮房子,还会吃上美味佳肴,你应该到我城里的家看看.”
乡下老鼠就到城里老鼠的家去.房子十分漂亮,好吃的东西也为他们摆好了.可是正当他们要开始吃的时候,听见很大的一阵响声,城里的老鼠叫喊起来：“快跑!快跑!猫来了!”他们飞快地跑开躲藏起来.
过了一会儿,他们出来了.当他们出来时,乡下老鼠说：“我不喜欢住在城里,我喜欢住在田野我的洞里.因为这样虽然贫穷但是快乐自在,比起虽然富有却要过着提心吊胆的生活来说,要好些.”

杀鸡取卵：
从前有个人家里养了只老母鸡,这只鸡特别的能下蛋,可有一段时间这只鸡老是不下蛋,而且还病歪歪的.那个人想这鸡不下蛋留着也没什么用了,就杀了这只鸡,破开鸡肚子后发现这只鸡生病的原因原来是生了胆结石.大大小小的胆结石就像鸡蛋一样.杀鸡的时侯正巧邻家的快嘴婆祥林嫂过来串门.看到了以后就四处乱说,说这人杀鸡取卵,鼠目寸光,把好好的一只能下蛋的老母鸡给杀了.
买椟还珠 春秋时代,楚国有一个商人,专门卖珠宝的,有一次他到齐国去兜售珠宝,为了生意 好,珠宝畅销起见,特地用名贵的木料,造成许多小盒子,把盒子雕刻装饰得非常精致美 观,使盒子会发出一种香味,然后把珠宝装在盒子里面.有一个郑国人,看见装宝珠的盒子既精致又美观,问明了价钱后,就买了一个,打开盒 子,把里面的宝物拿出来,退还给珠宝商.呆若木鸡春秋时期,齐国流行斗鸡.有个叫纪子的人,擅长驯养斗鸡,因此齐王命令他训练斗鸡.训练了四十天,纪子告诉齐王说：“斗鸡已经训练成功了.现在鸡一点儿也不骄傲,气态平和安详,听到别的斗鸡在鸣叫,也不慌不忙,丝毫没有着急的表现,看上去好像木雕的鸡一样,各种本领都已具备.那些没有经过训练的鸡,一见到它就吓得掉头就跑,谁也不敢同它斗了.”齐王听了很满意,重赏了纪子.幽默笑话一个富家之子去考试,父亲事先考了他一下,成绩很好,满以为一定能录取了,不料榜 上竟没有儿子的名字.父亲赶去找县官评理.县官调来卷查看,只见上面淡淡一层灰雾,却 看不到有什么字.父亲一回家便责骂道：“你的考卷怎么写得叫人看也看不清?” 儿子哭道：“考场上没人替我磨墨,我只得用笔在砚上蘸着水写呀.”
只有这两个

回答 1.第一个的幽默体现在毕加索的“自夸”上（就是和朋友说的那句）,体现出大画家随和的品性和幽默的性格.我认识了一个幽默的毕加索,虽然他出名了,但仍很和蔼可亲.

有一天,曹操抓了刘备,关羽,张飞.曹操对他们三个说,你们每个人去果林里选一样水果出来.过了一会儿,张飞带了个苹果出来,曹操说,如果他们能把自己带的水果塞进屁股里面,就放了他们,张飞尝试了一会,失败了,于是被杀了.又过了一会儿,关羽拿了三颗葡萄走出来,曹操也对他说了同样的话,关羽便开始塞...塞到第三颗时,关羽突然扑哧一笑,结果把葡萄夹烂了,又被杀了.下了地府后,阎王问关羽：“你真傻,为什么笑呢?不笑就不会死了”关羽长叹一声说“我也不想啊!天妒红颜!我塞到第三颗的时候,突然看见刘大哥抱着个榴莲走出来...”

hi everyone,today I'm going to tell you a joke which is called" how do the poor live"

　　道旁苦李 词 目 道旁苦李
　　发 音 dào páng kǔ lǐ
　　解 释 指路边的苦李,走过的人不摘取.比喻被人所弃、无用的事物或人.
　　出 处 南朝·宋·刘义庆《世说新语·雅量》：“王戎七岁,尝与诸小儿游,看道旁李树多子折枝,诸儿竞走取之,唯戎不动.人问之,答曰：‘树在道旁而多子,此必苦李.’”
　　典 故 晋文公时,在琅邪这个地方,有一个叫王戎的人.他因平定吴国有功,被封为安丰侯.他是竹林七贤之一.
　　传说,王戎从小就非常聪明.他7岁时,有一次和几个小伙伴一块儿外出游玩,发现路边有几株李树,树上的枝条上,结满了李子,而且看上去一个个都熟透了.
　　小伙伴们一见,就情不自禁地流出了口水.于是,一个个高兴地竞相攀折树枝,摘取李子.惟有王戎站在一旁,一动也不动.
　　同伴们觉得非常奇怪,就叫喊着问王戎：“喂,王戎,你为什么不摘啊?又红又大的李子,多好呀!”
　　王戎笑着回答：“那树上的李子肯定是苦的,摘下来也不能吃.你看,这李树都长在道路旁,上面结了那么多李子,却没有人摘,要不是苦的,能会这样吗?”
　　“道旁苦李”一成语便出于此,也做“路边苦李”.
　　示 例 知君先竭是甘井,我原得全如苦李.（宋•苏轼《次韵王定国南迁回见寄》）
　　《世说新语》中小故事两则：
　　(一)
　　谢太傅寒雪日内集,与儿女讲论文义,俄而雪骤,公欣然曰：“白雪纷纷何所似?”兄子胡儿曰：“撒盐空中差可拟.”兄女曰：“未若柳絮因风起.”公大笑乐.
　　这则故事的大意是：在一个下雪的冬日里,谢太傅召集孩子们谈论有关做文章的事.一会儿,雪下大了,谢太傅很高兴,就问孩子们：“纷纷飘落的白雪像什么?”他哥哥的儿子说：“用空中撒盐勉强可以比方.”他哥哥的女儿说：“不如用柳絮因风飞舞来比方.”谢太傅大笑,非常高兴.
　　(二)
　　孺子年九岁,尝月下戏,人语之曰：“若令月中无物,当极明邪?”徐曰：“不然.譬如人眼中有瞳子,无此必不明.”
　　这则故事的大意是：徐家有个小孩,年方九岁,曾有一次在月亮地里玩耍,有人对他说：“若是让月亮中什么都没有,它是不是应该更加明亮呀?”这个姓徐的孩子说：“不对.比方说人眼中都有瞳仁,没有瞳仁就看不见光明了.”

一天,小明回家告诉爸爸：我被老师留下了.
爸爸：为什么?
小明：我把撒哈拉在哪忘记了.
爸爸：告诉你多少次,东西用完不要乱放!
地图上的牛奶天气炎热,妈妈让王辉把牛奶放进冰箱,王辉却从书桌里找出一张世界地图,把它摊开平放在桌上,然后将一瓶牛奶放在地图的南极地区.妈妈问：“你为什么把牛奶放在地图上?”王辉解释说：“南极是世界上最冷的地区,年平均气温在零下25左右,最低气温在零下88以下,人们发现几十年前探险者留下的饼干和罐头一点也没坏.牛奶放在那儿,保险不会坏.比电冰箱温度低得多.”

句子不完整,缺成分.汉语中有一些熟语,如歇后语、谚语等,在表达上很有特点.

1 一天，三只小猪为了躲避大灰狼的追赶，而建造了三个小屋。 大灰狼不费劲的吹毁了草屋，木屋，砖屋，三只小猪们拼命的跑，但是还是被大灰狼追上了。三只小猪绝望地说，你看着办吧。阿拉放弃了，随你怎样。 此时，大灰狼*笑着，留着口水说：那快告诉我小红帽在哪里?2 当老婆刚刚冲完澡出来，老公正要开始淋浴时，门铃响了 在几秒争吵谁该去应门之后老婆放弃了 裹了条毛巾急忙下楼去开门她打开门看见Bob 她的邻居在她还没开口之前 Bob就说：“如果你把那条毛巾拿下我就给你$800。” 老婆想了想，就脱下毛巾赤裸站在Bob面前 过了几秒Bob给了钱就走了老婆困惑又兴奋她的好运，裹上毛巾上楼 当她回到浴室老公问她：“刚刚是谁呀？” “隔壁的Bob啦！”她回答 “很好，”老公说：“那他有没有拿他欠我的$800还我？”

仿照下面一条”动物语录”,在列出的动物中任选两种,各拟一条语录,要求语言生动有一定的哲理．
例 啄木鸟：我虽然也是全靠一张嘴来工作,但从来没有说过一句空话．
马 乌鸦 蜜蜂 猫头鹰 蜘蛛 狗 骆驼
马：谁说先有伯乐后有千里马?千里马是靠自己跑出来的,不是靠伯乐封出来的.
乌鸦：怪事,我一叫人家就说不吉利,你们信鬼神干吗把我也扯上?我把嘴闭上了,就没人说你们的闲话了?
蜜蜂：这世界上贪占别人的“甜头”的人实在是太多了,我是不得已才配备这杆“枪”的.
猫头鹰：要是凭发言来评先进,我这一辈子怕是与先进无缘了.
蜘蛛：守好这张“网”,咱一辈子就吃喝不愁了.
狗：守了一辈子的门,得出一个经验：陌生人献给你的殷勤里,往往包藏祸心.
骆驼：马儿笑我背了两座大山很难看,它怎会知道这两座大山正是我的‘靠山’
把下面各项填完整.
1.形容男女儿童天真无邪,一起玩耍叫（两小无猜）
2.宋代苏东坡曾说：“可使食无肉,（不可居无竹,无肉令人瘦,无竹令人俗.）”
3.魏晋时,阮籍、 嵇康、山涛、向秀、阮咸、王戎、刘伶,相与友善,游于竹林,传下许多佳话,史称"(竹林七贤）”
根据下面的提示,各猜一个成语
1.俄(先人后己)
2.最荒唐的演奏(对牛弹琴)
3.最反常的气候(晴天霹雳)
下面都史一句话书评,说说它们各评我国古代哪一本书
1.历史的长城(《史记》)2.瓜棚下的怪谈(《聊斋志异》)
"五"在古人眼中是个级数,表示全部之意,或表示很多很多,如:
1.五谷,即(稻、黍、稷、麦、菽或者麻、黍、稷、麦、菽)
2.五音,即(宫、商、角、徵、羽)
3.五体,即(筋、脉、肉、皮、骨)
4.五脏,即(心、肝、脾、肺、肾)
5.五味,即(酸、甜、苦、辣、咸)
1.卧薪尝胆---(越王勾践 )
2.望梅止渴---(曹操 )
3.乐不思蜀---(刘禅 )
4.破釜沉舟---(项羽 )
5.入木三分---(王羲之 )
6.图穷匕见---(荆轲 )
7.凿壁借光---(匡衡 )
8.〈出塞〉中的“飞将”指---（李广 ）
形容非常害怕的成语------(惊恐万状 )
比喻力量强,气势大的成语------(气势磅礴)
临渊羡鱼,不如（退而结网 ）；扬汤止沸,不如（釜底抽薪 ）.
（知之者不如好之者 ）,好之者不如乐之者.
《滕王阁序》的作者是（(唐)王勃 ）,其中千古传诵的名句是（落霞与孤鹜齐飞, 秋水共长天一色. ）.由此,联想到他写的表达朋友见深厚情谊的诗句是（ 海内存知已,天涯若比邻）.
“草堂留后世,诗圣著千秋.”赞扬（杜甫 ）.
“志见出师表,好为梁父吟.”赞扬（ 诸葛亮）.
“犹留正气参天地,永剩丹青照古今.”赞扬（文天祥 ）.
“诗中有画,画中有诗.”赞扬（ 王维）.
清明时节雨纷纷,（路上行人欲断魂 ）.
大江东去,（ 浪淘尽）.
语文趣题一
一、填数字使等号成立
01.( )光( )色 × 心无( )用＝( )折不挠
02.( )心( )意＋( )肢发达＝( )姑( )婆
03.( )上( )下＋( )干( )净＝( )流( )家
04.丢( )落( )＋( )步登天＝( )( )成群
05.( )从( )德＋( )鼓作气＝( )年( )载
06.( )体投地 × ( )窍生烟＝( )令( )申
07.( )石( )鸟 × 退避( )舍＝( )头( )臂
08.( )( )生肖 × ( )生有幸＝( )( )( )计
09.文房( )宝 × ( )国演义＝( )清( )楚
10.( )面( )方 ÷ 独( )无( )＝( )面楚歌
11.( )面威风 × ( )夕佳节＝( )颜( )色
12.( )( )事变－( )言( )鼎＝( )花( )门
13.( )折不挠－( )牛( )虎＝( )面玲珑
14.( )感交集 × 漏洞( )出＝( )象更新
15.( )箭( )雕 ÷ 狡兔( )窟＝( )海为家
16.事倍功( )＋( )推( )就＝( )鳞( )爪
17.垂涎( )尺 × 志在( )方＝数( )数( )
18.( )尺之躯＋火冒( )丈＝( )面埋伏
19.( )平( )稳 ÷ ( )仙过海＝( )亲不认
20.( )口莫辩－( )死( )生＝( )霄云外
二、文字魔法书—《歇后语》停!看!听!
一种讲求趣味的用语方式.由两部分组成,前半部是譬喻,后半部是本意.通常只叙述前半部,有让人猜谜的趣味.有的利用同音词、有的利用近音词,来达到曲折传情的目的.如：泥菩萨过江—(自身难保)
试试看,下列题目你能正确回答的有多少?
01. 千里送鹅毛 ( )10. 姜太公钓鱼( )
02. 孔夫子搬家 ( )11. 七窍通六窍( )
03. 八仙过海 ( )12. 骑驴看唱本( )
04. 哑巴吃黄连( )13. 矮子踩高跷( )
05. 螃蟹走路( )14. 哑巴见了面( )
06. 麻绳提豆腐( )15. 中秋夜打灯笼( )
07. 瞎子吃汤圆( )16. 猫哭耗子( )
08. 肉包子打狗( )17. 十五个吊桶打水( )
09. 狗拿耗子( )18. 拉着胡子上船( )

A foreigner once got hungry and went into a restaurant in London .He opened his mouth , put his fingers into it and took them out again in order to express that he wanted something to eat , for he could not speak English. The waiter soon brought a cup of tea. The man shook his head. The waiter then took away the tea and brought a cup of coffee. The man again shook his head. He tried again and again, but he wasn't able to make the waiter understand him. Finally another man came in. He spoke Enlish clearly and fluently. In a few minutes, there was a large plate of meat and vegetable on the table before him.

Teacher and Student
Landon had made an unsuccessful attempt at the recitation,and the doctor,somewhat nettled,said:Landon,you don't seem to be getting on very fast in this subject.You seem to lack ambition.Why,at your age Alexander the Great had conquered half the world.
Yes,said Landon,he couldn't help it,for you will recall the fact,doctor,that Alexander the Great had Aristotle for a teacher.
Look in the pocket
A man walks into a bar,orders a drink,gulps it down,looks in his pocket then orders another one.
He gulps that one down,looks in his pocket again,then orders another one.
He does this about 7 or 8 more times when the bartender finally asks,"Every time you finish a drink you look in your pocket.What’s in your pocket?"
The man replies,"Oh...I have a picture of my wife in there.I drink until she looks good,then I go home."

A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. He said, "I do not want to eat those apples; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat." Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust.
He went on and came to a river. The river had become very big; so he could not go over it. He waited for some time; then he said, "I cannot go to the rich man's house today, for I cannot get over the river."
He began to go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them.
Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time.
中文我来不及打了,很好懂的,谢谢,要采纳哦

Tommy hated school and was always looking for excuses not to go.
　　If he sneezed,he asked his mother to write a note saying he had a cold.
　　If he had a headache,he asked his mother to take him to the doctor during school hours.
　　He spent more time at home than he did at school.
　　On the days that he did go to school,he looked for excuses to come home early.
　　One morning he came home when the lessons were only half finished.
　　His father was surprised.
　　"You've come home early," he said."Is the school closed today?"
　　"No,Dad," Tommy said - "It's open.I came home early.
　　"How did you do that?" his father asked him."What did you say to the teacher?"
　　"I told her that I had a new baby brother and that I had to come home and help you ."
　　"But your mother has had twins," his father said,"a boy and a girl.You've got a baby brother and a baby sister."
　　"Yes,I know,Dad," Tommy said."I'm saving up my baby sister for next week "
Notes:
　　(1) sneeze v.打喷嚏
　　(2) twins n.双胞胎
　　(3) save up留着
休假
　　汤姆讨厌上学,总是找借口不去上学.
　　如果他打喷嚏,他就叫他妈妈写个纸条说他感冒了.
　　如果他头痛,他就叫他妈妈在上课时间带他去看病.
　　他呆在家里的时间比在学校的时间要多.
　　在他的确去上学的日子里,他就找借口早点回家.
　　一天早上他上了一半课就从学校回来了.
　　他爸爸很惊讶.
　　“你回来很早,”他爸爸问,“今天学校放学了吗?”
　　“没有,爸爸,”汤姆说,“还没放学.我提前回来了.”
　　“你怎么会提前回来了?”爸爸问,“你对老师说什么了?”
　　“我告诉她我有了一个小弟弟,我得回家帮你.”
　　“但是你妈妈生了一对双胞胎,”爸爸说,“一个男孩,一个女孩.你有一个小弟弟和一个小妹妹.”
　　“是的,我知道,爸爸,”汤姆说,“我要等下个星期再说我有个小妹妹了.”

试试新概念短文,一般都不错的,我们当时也是有这个课前发言,其实用自己的口语说下自己的经历就非常不错,切忌整篇背诵,那样失去了现场即兴发言的气氛!切记切记!祝好运!

【幽默】
有三个人到纽约度假.他们在一座高层宾馆的第45层订了一个套房.
一天晚上,大楼电梯出现故障,服务员安排他们在大厅过夜.
他们商量后,决定徒步走回房间,并约定轮流说笑话、唱歌和讲故事,以减轻登楼的劳累.
笑话讲了,歌也唱了,好不容易爬到第34层,大家都感觉精疲力竭.
“好吧,彼德,你来讲个幽默故事吧.”
彼德说：“故事不长,却令人伤心至极：我把房间的钥匙忘在大厅了.”
【顿悟】
我们痛苦,所以幽默；我们幽默,所以快乐.
Humorous
There are three people to New York for vacation.They are in a
high-rise hotel's 45-booked a suite.
One night,Elevator fails,the waiter to arrange for them to spend the night in the lobby.
They discussed and decided to walk back to my room,and take turns telling jokes,singing and storytelling to ease the strain of begin.
Joke about the song also sang,hard climb to the 34th floor,we all feel exhausted.
"Okay,Peter,you a humorous story.”
Peter said:"the story is not long,but grief:I put the room key was left in the Hall.”
Insight
Our suffering,so humor humorous; we,therefore,happy.

1－－Mark Twain in a reception response to a reporter's question,said :"The United States Congress is some dog * - dependence."He will press the case made public.Washington must Members Mark Twain published in a newspaper revelation,apologized.Mark Twain wrote such an announcement before :I speak on the banquet,said that some members of Congress are raising dogs mother,I thought think that statement is inappropriate,but not the facts.Thedeen reported statement,I say as follows :The United States Congress is not some mother custody of the dog.2－－Mark Twain once with a wife sitting,he said to her :"Do you really beautiful," Mrs.arrogant answer :"Unfortunately,I can not equally praising you."Mark Twain do not mind at all and said laughingly :" Lady,If,like me telling lies there."

1、是学以致用,加强练习.2、报复思想严重.老师认为大家可缩短学习时间,同样也可缩短考试时间.

答案示例：①知了问从机场安检门退回来的螳螂：“过不了关啊？”，他们说禁止携带任何刀具登机。”②鳄鱼问海关门口唉声叹气的金钱龟：“怎么又回来了？”“海关不让过，说是禁止携带包括古钱币在内的文物出境。”③狐狸问课室门外排徊的老虎：“不想上课啊？”“值日生不让，他说学校规定不能留指甲。”

聪明的林肯

A mother and young son get into a bus in a small city and sit down. The bus conductor comes to them for their money . The mother says,"I want one ticket to the zoo ."and gives him one yuan. The condustor looks at the small boy for a few seconds and then says to him ,"How old are you ,young man ?" The mother begins to sepak, but the conductor stops her . The boy says,"l'm four at home and two on the bus . At last the mother has to take fifty fen out of her pocket and gives it to the conductor.

这个笑话挺好笑的.不知你以前看过没有?生字应该不多.你自己也学查查字典.(我说个大意噢:一位伊利若州男子离开 冰天雪地的芝加哥到佛罗
里达州度假.他的妻子正在外地公干,准备到时候在佛州会合.该男子到了佛州,驻进酒店,就急忙给他妻子发电子邮件.但是他将太太的网址打错一个字母,结果这封邮件发到了一位牧师太太手里,她的丈夫前一天刚过世,她为此在伤心欲绝.当她打开这封错发来的邮件时,惨叫一声,两腿一蹬,死了.
邮件是这样写的:
亲爱的,
我刚来报到.正准备迎接你明天的到来.
爱你的夫君
对了,这下面真的好热唉.(Illinois是美国东部一个州.冬天很冷.Florida在美国南部,一年气候都比较热.)
A BIG E-mail Mistake 一封致命的邮件
An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida.His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.When he reached his hotel,he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address,he did his best to type it in from memory.Unfortunately,he missed one letter,and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.When the grieving widow checked her e-mail,she took one look at the monitor,let out a piercing scream,and fell to the floor dead.
At the sound,her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in.Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Your Loving Husband.
P.S.Sure is hot down here.
双关语:1热:佛州天气,2.炼狱
down :1.佛州(美国南方,在地图下方)
2.地狱

、
New Discovery



A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building,
he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights
flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young

model stepped off the elevator.


Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I shouldhave brought my wife!"

Tom is 10 years old.One day,his mother talk to him "Tom,you are old enough to use phone.” Suddenly,the door bell ring,his mother go away and leave the phone on the table.
Out of curiousity,the little Tom take it.But,how to use?Tom remembered his mother when in use,put it on top of the ears." I was really too smart ." he thought.When his mother came back,you guess what does he do?He use a tie pace the phone in the head!
How is a cute child!

A wolf had been badly wounded by dogs.He lay sick and maimed in his lair.He felt very hungry and thirsty.When a sheep passed by,he asked him to fetch some water from the stream."If you bring me the wa...

以其人之道,还治其人之身
教授的做法也是在惩戒偷懒的学生,估计以后他们就不敢再这样了,聪明的教授哦.

　　1.猴子最付厌什么线?
　　平行线[没有相交（香蕉）]
　　2.有一只白猫和一只黑猫,白猫掉到水里去了,黑猫把它救了上来,白猫对黑猫说了句什么?
　　喵
　　3.我买了一台联通公司出产的电视机,不停的选台,全是雪花没信号,这时电视机说话了：您所拨叫的电视不在服务区,请稍候再拨…
　　4.一天,王先生开着新买的奥拓回家.突然,旁边飙过一辆大奔,从他身边开过时,司机冲他喊到：“哥们,开过大奔吗?”说完,“嗖”的一下飙远了.王先生很火大,加大油门追了上去.眼看快追上了,那个司机又伸出脑袋冲他大喊：“哥们,开过大奔吗?”然后,“嗖”的又不见了.“牛什么!”王先生骂完后心里舒服了点,于是不再追了.又开了一会,王先生看到刚在那辆大奔翻倒在路边,他很好奇,慢慢的开车靠近.只见那辆车撞到了树上,司机有气无力的说：“哥们,开过大奔吗?知道它的刹车在哪嘛?”
　　5.一只兔子和一只跑得很快的乌龟赛跑,猜一猜谁赢拉?
　　是乌龟拉,前面有说是一只跑很快的乌龟,跑很快噢~
　　兔子不甘心,又和一只戴了墨镜的乌龟比赛跑步,这次谁赢拉?
　　恩…兔子吧
!那只乌龟把墨镜一摘,也!又是刚才那只跑很快的乌龟噢^O^
　　6.一个伐木工人去应征工作
　　工头:前面的树林你去试试看...看你一分钟能锯几棵树.
　　过了一分钟.
　　工头:哇.一分钟20棵.太厉害了.你以前在哪工作的?
　　工人:撒哈拉森林.
　　工头:没听过.我只听过撒哈拉沙漠.
　　工人:对啊.后来改名字啦!
　　7.电器用品举办讲笑话大赛,规定每个电器都要讲一个笑话,而且让现场的每一位观众都哈哈大笑,否则要被砸烂.首先上场的是洗衣机,他笑话一讲完,全场哈哈大笑,突然听到电饭锅说：“好冷哦~” 所以洗衣机就被抓去砸烂了.接下来上场的是最聪明的计算机,他的笑话一讲完,所有的家电全部笑翻了,又听到电饭锅说：“好冷哦~” 所以!计算机也被抓去砸烂了.第三位是最幽默的台灯,台灯很有自信的讲完笑话,大家全部笑到在地上打滚,电饭锅又说：“好冷哦~”正当台灯要被抓去砸烂时,电饭锅很生气的站起来,转过头对坐在他后面的冰箱说：“我受够了你笑就笑,嘴巴不要张那么大,很冷耶!”
　　8.有个人一天碰到上帝...上帝突然大发善心打算给那人一个愿望.上帝问：“你有什么愿望吗?”那个人想了想...“听说猫都有9条命,那请您赐给我9条命吧.”上帝说你的愿望实现咯...一天,那个人闲来无聊,想说去死一死算了,
　　反正有9条命嘛,就躺在铁轨上...结果一辆火车开过去...那人还是死了...
　　这是为什么呢?
　　因为那台火车的车厢有10节...

一天,睿睿问敏敏：“你最喜欢什么树?"敏敏说：“我喜欢白杨.”睿睿说：“那我明天带白杨来给你看.”由于睿睿不知道白杨是什么,她便牵了一只白羊.第二天,敏敏看见“白杨”问道：“这是什么啊,是白杨吗?”睿睿说：“这就是“白羊”啊!”

I Have His Ear in My Pocket 他的耳朵在我衣兜里
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,"What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan."Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother."I'd know him any where," said Ivan."I have his ear in my pocket."
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里.他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?” “一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说.“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问.“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说.“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢?
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱.“昨天给你的钱干什么了?” 好孩子 “我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说.“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说“再给你两分钱.可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?“她是个卖糖果的.”
Hospitality 好客
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese.The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.The visitor smiled,put the cheese into his mouth and then said:"You must have better eyes than your mother,sonny.Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap,sir," replied theboy.
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子.过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里.客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好.你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上,先生.”那小男孩说.
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush.She watched the cat,and the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely,"Woof,woof,woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said,"Now,do you understand the value of a second language?"
一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步,突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽.母老鼠向着猫叫道："汪,汪,汪",猫听了非常害怕,拼命跑走了.母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说："现在你知道外语的重要性了吧."
Tommy:How is your little brother,Johnny?Johnny:He is ill in bed.He hurt himself.Tommy:That's too bad.How did that happen?
Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won.
汤姆：约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?约翰尼：他害病卧床了.他受了伤.汤姆：真糟糕,怎么回事儿?约翰尼：我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了.