英语幽默

haha

　　幽默风趣，妙趣横生的英语对话，只要在初一的时候好好练习的话是做的到的。下面是我给大家整理的初一英语幽默对话，供大家参阅! 　　初一英语幽默对话1 　　Jack:Good morning! 　　早上好!Ann:Good morning!You look tired. 　　早上好!你看上去很疲惫.Jack:I couldn"t sleep last night. 　　我昨晚睡不着.Ann:Why? 　　为什么?Jack:I worried about the finals. 　　我担心期末考试.Ann:Which subject? 　　哪科?Jack:All of the subjects.I skipped so many classes. 　　所有科目.我逃了很多课.Ann:Don"t worry,you still have time to prepare the finals. 　　别担心,你还有时间备考.Jack:It is said that there"s a "Never Fail Gate" at the Wuhan University of Science and Technology.Many students go through the gate and take a photo with it.Maybe it could help me pass the exams. 　　听说武汉科技大学有一座“永不挂科门”.很多学生从“永不挂科门”中穿过,或合影留念.或许它能帮我通过考试.Ann:Well,that"s just a gate made of snow and a piece of cardboard.You"d better review your lessons before the exams. 　　那只是由积雪和一张纸板搭建而成的门而已.你最好还是在考试前复习一下你的功课. 　　初一英语幽默对话2 　　The poor husband 　　"You can"t imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend."She asks me a question,then answers it herself,and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong. 　　可怜的丈夫 　　“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难,”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说,“她问我一个问题,然后自己回答了,过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的.” 　　Does the dog know the proverb,too? 　　The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog. 　　"It"s all right," said a gentleman,"don"t be afraid.Don"t you know the proverb:Barking dogs don"t bite?" 　　"Ah,yes," answered the little boy."I know the proverb,but does the dog know the proverb,too?" 　　狗也知道这个谚语吗? 　　一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子. 　　“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗：u2018吠狗不咬人.u2019” 　　“啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?” 　　初一英语幽默对话3 　　One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin. 　　Girl:Father,I have sinned. 　　Preacher:What did you do,little girl? 　　Girl:Yesterday,I called a man a son of a Bitch. 　　Preacher:Why?What did he do to you? 　　Girl:He touched my breast. 　　Preacher:You mean like this?(The guy did it.) 　　Girl:(A little shy from the touch) Yes. 　　Preacher:That"s no reason to call him that. 　　Girl:But he also took off my cloth. 　　Preacher:You mean like this?(He did it again.) 　　Girl:Yes,that"s what he did. 　　Preacher:That"s still no reason to call him that. 　　Girl:And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what... 　　Preacher:(evil laugh...) You mean like this?(And you-know-what) 　　Girl:(After a few minutes...) Ugh...Yeah,that"s what he did... 　　Preacher:My dear girl,that"s still no reason to call him a... 　　Girl:But he had AIDS! 　　Preacher:THAT SON OF A BITCH! 　　Where is the father? 　　Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. 　　"Look," said the elder brother."How nice these paintings are!" 　　"Yes," said the younger,"but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children.Where is the father?" 　　The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained,"Obviously he was painting the pictures." 　　

A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come with me running through the forest, you"ll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.有一只小白兔快乐地奔跑在森林中, 在路上它碰到一只正在卷大麻的长颈鹿。小白兔看着长颈鹿说道：“长颈鹿我的朋友，你为什么要做这种事呢？和我一起在森林中奔跑吧，你会感觉心情舒畅很多！”长颈鹿看看小白兔，又看看手里的大麻烟，把大麻烟向身后一扔，跟着小白兔在森林中奔跑。Then they come across an elephant doing coke, so the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest, you"ll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his coke, then tosses it and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.后来它们遇到一只正准备吸食可卡因的大象，小白兔又对大象说：“大象我的朋友，你为什么要做这种事呢？想想自己的健康啊。跟我们一起在这片美丽的森林中奔跑吧，你会感觉好很多！”大象看看它们，又看看手中的可卡因，于是把可卡因向身后一扔，跟着小白兔和长颈鹿一起奔跑。The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up and the rabbit again says, "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!"后来它们遇到一只正准备注射毒品的狮子，小白兔又对狮子说：“狮子我的朋友，你为什么要做这种事呢？想想自己的健康啊！跟我们一起在这片阳光明媚的森林中奔跑吧，你会感觉如此美好！”

1.Plumber（水暖工）:I"m sorry I was late. Man:While we were waiting for you,I taught my wife how to swim. 2.As soon as Eve ate the apple of wisdom[智慧],she reached for the fig(无花果) leaf; when a woman begins to think,her first thought is of a new dress. 3.Son:Remember,Dad,Thomas Edison got bad grades in school,too. Father:Stay in your room until you invented the light bulb. 4.I am convinced that both my long age and exceptional health are to be explained by an obvious facts:I never touched a cigarette,a drink,or a girl until I was almost ten years old. 5.Employer to applicant:"In this job we need someone who is responsible." Applicant:"I"m the one you want.On my last job,every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."