Your College YearsBob HartmanHave you ever considered the changes that are taking place and will take place in your life as a college student? Has it ever occurred to you that your professors and other school personnel have certain goals for your growth and maturity during your college years? Has it ever dawned on you that certain developmental changes will occur in your life as you move from adolescence to young adulthood? Though college students seldom think about them, key changes will probably happen to them during their college years.During this time, students are going through an identity crisis and are endeavoring to find out who they are and what their strengths and weaknesses are. They have, of course, plenty of both. It is important to know how people perceive themselves as well as how other people perceive them. According to Piers and Landau, in an article discussing the theories of Erik H. Erikson in International Encyclopedia of Social Sciences (1979), identity is determined by genetic endowment (what is inherited from parents), shaped by environment, and influenced by chance events. People are influenced by their environment and, in turn, influence their environment. How people see themselves in both roles is unquestionably a part of their identity.While students are going through an identity crisis, they are becoming independent from their parents yet are probably still very dependent on them. This independence/dependence struggle is very much a part of the later adolescence stage.In fact, it may be heightened by their choice to pursue a college education. Immediately after graduating from high school, some graduates choose to enter the work world. As a result of this choice, they may become financially independent from their parents. But college students have chosen to grow and learn new skills that take years to develop, so they probably need at least some degree of dependence on their parents.In his April 1984 article "Psychological Separation of Late Adolescents from Their Parents" in the Journal of Counseling Psychology, J. A. Hoffman observed that there are four distinct aspects to psychological separation from one"s parents. First, there is functional independence, which involves the capability of individuals to take care of practical and personal affairs, such as handling finances, choosing their own wardrobes, and determining their daily agenda. Second, there is attitudinal independence, which means that individuals learn to see and accept the difference between their own attitudes, values, and beliefs and those of their parents. The third process of psychological separation is emotional independence. Hoffman defines this process as "freedom from an excessive need for approval, closeness, togetherness, and emotional support in relation to the mother and father." For example, college students would feel free to select the major that they want to pursue without feeling they must have parental approval. Fourth is freedom from "excessive guilt, anxiety, mistrust, responsibility, inhibition, resentment, and anger in relation to the mother and father."College students need to stand back and see where they are in the independence/dependence struggle.Probably one of the most stressful matters for young college students is establishing their sexual identity, which includes relating to the opposite sex and projecting their future roles as men or women. Each must define her or his sexual identity in a feminine or masculine role. These are exciting times yet frustrating times. Probably nothing can make students feel lower or higher emotionally than the way they are relating to whomever they are having a romantic relationship with.At the same time, these young adults are learning how to give and receive affection in the adult world. This aspect of growth deals not only with interaction with the opposite sex but with friends of both sexes and all ages. As they grow and reach young adulthood, the way they relate to others changes. It is a time when they as adults should think about how they relate to and show proper respect for peers, how they relate to the children and young adolescents in their lives, and how they relate to their parents and show them affection. For example, when I was a graduate student at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, I visited my parents after I had just finished a course in counseling. During the course I had come to realize that while my world was expanding and new options were opening for me, my father, who was in his sixties, was seeing his world shrink and his options narrow.During my visit home, my father and I had several conversations in which we discussed the content of my course and how it applied to our lives. I found myself seeing my father in a different way and relating to him as a friend whom I could encourage. I was consciously encouraging the man who over the years had encouraged me. I was relating to my father in a different way.Another change for college students is internalizing their religious faith, their values, and their morals. Since birth, one or more parents have been modeling for them and teaching them certain beliefs, values, and morals. In their adolescent years, however, these matters are questioned and in some cases rebelled against. Now, as young adults, they have the opportunity to decide for themselves what beliefs, values, and morals they are going to accept for their lives. In the late sixties, a young woman from a background that was extremely prejudiced against people from other races came to college convinced that her race was superior. She was distressed because she had been put into a dorm that had people from a variety of ethnic backgrounds. Over the next four years, this student, who considered herself intelligent, found herself in classes and social events in which people of other races performed as well as or more competently than she did.As she finished her senior year, she had grown to realize that people of other races were not only equal to her but were people who could be her friends and from whom she could learn.These religious, moral, and ethical values that are set during the college years often last a lifetime.In addition to affirming personal values, college students develop new ways to organize and use knowledge. The challenges of academic life not only introduce them to new knowledge but force them to evaluate how they gather, process, and apply knowledge in their lives. For some, this will be a painful experience, but for all it will be a growing experience. One student with whom I had worked went on to become an English teacher. She shared with me how her attitude toward literature changed during her college years. "In high school I made good grades in English," she observed, "but the material meant very little to me." She then went on to explain how in college she came to realize that literature is one of the best ways to understand a culture. Her way of learning had changed. All students should be aware of how they react to new knowledge and new ways of learning, how they process the knowledge presented to them, and how they organize this knowledge. And last of all, these young adults are becoming world citizens, are becoming aware not only of other groups in their own culture but also of people of other cultures. As they meet these people and interact with them, they find themselves being introduced to new ways of life and new ways of interpreting life. As they do so, they grow and become more mature people.A student attending a community college in his home town explained how as a student he came to know a student from a Third World country-a country he had not even heard of before. The international student, who expected to be appointed to an important governmental position when he returned home, had a brother who taught law at the major university of his country. The American student and the international student became close friends and spent many hours sharing their thoughts and dreams. The American student observed, "Because of our friendship, I have come to understand people of Third World countries in a way I never realized possible. I can no longer read the newspaper or watch a television newscast without seeing the people from other countries in a different light. They are now real people who have dreams, hopes, and struggles, just as I do." Because of the opportunities he had while attending college, this young man, like many other students, experienced a new understanding of the world and of himself.College is designed to be a time of personal growth and expansion. At times it can be threatening. For certain, it is an experience that contributes to young adults" growth and maturity. Not only are they being introduced to new people and new knowledge, but they are also acquiring new ways of assembling and processing information. Just as proudly, they are growing in their understanding of themselves, others, and the world in which they live.—————作为一个大学生，你可曾考虑过那些你生活中正在发生以及将要发生的变化吗？你可曾想到过，你的教授们和其他教职员工为你的成长和发展曾经制定了某些目标？你可曾意识到，从青春期到渐渐成熟的过程中，你会经历某些特定的发展变化？尽管大学生很少思考以上问题，但是在大学期间，一些重要的变化很有可能发生在他们身上。大学期间，学生们正经历着自我认同危机，而且他们正在竭力了解自己，以及自己的优点和不足。当然，他们的优点和不足之处都很多。重要的是要了解人们如何看待自己，以及其他人又如何看待他们。皮尔斯和兰多曾在一篇文章中探讨了艾瑞克·H.埃里克松在《国际社会科学百科全书》（1979）中的有关理论。根据他们的观点，自我认同取决于遗传基因（继承自父母），由环境塑造，并且受偶然事件的影响。人们受环境影响，反过来又影响他们周围的环境。人们如何看待自己在以上两个方面所扮演的角色，毫无疑问是他们自我心理认同的一部分。在学生们经历自我认同危机的同时，也开始摆脱自己的父母，渐渐独立。然而，他们仍然非常依赖父母。这种独立与依赖之间的矛盾其实是青春期后期的一部分。实际上，这种矛盾可能因为他们选择接受大学教育而升级。高中一毕业，一些毕业生选择进入职场开始工作。这种选择的结果就是他们在经济上独立于自己的父母。但是，大学生选择了再花几年时间来发展自我和学习新的技能，因此，至少在某种程度上他们往往还要依赖于自己的父母。
2023-07-25 06:55:171
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