- 牛云
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(Rachel, Phoebe and Emma arrive)
Ross: Hey!
Phoebe: Oh!
Joey: You are not at Thanksgiving?
Rachel: No...
Phoebe: No, we"re late!
Rachel: What are you doing here!
Ross: We"re late too! (Rachel screams)
Joey: We figured we could be late because you guys were gonna be on time (he points the foam finger at the girls)
Phoebe: Don"t point that thing at me, Tribbiani!
Ross: So, nobody"s here? Monica"s gonna kill us!
Joey: Yeah, where were you!
Ross: Yeah, yeah, what"s with the trophy!
Phoebe: Uh, we were at the Spelling Bee!
Rachel: And I won!
Ross: You won an adult Thanksgiving day spelling bee.
Rachel: Yes! (spells it) Y-E-S. Yes!
Ross: Let me see this... (he takes the trophy from Rachel"s hands) Grand Supreme Little Darling, New York Division.
Rachel: Yeah. That"s me!
Ross: You entered Emma into a Beauty Pageant?
Phoebe: And it looks like she put makeup on her!
Joey: Wait a second, wait a second, where have I seen that cowgirl outfit before...
Ross: I can"t believe this, she"s our daughter! That you would treat her like some kind of showdog is inexcusable!
Rachel: She won a thousand dollars!
Ross: So this is an annual thing?
Joey: (realizing) Oh! That"s Alicia Mae Emory"s outfit!
Phoebe: You guys, there are people in there who are not getting any happier!
Ross: Yeah. What are we gonna do?
Rachel: Well, I don"t know, you guys figure it out, I got to put Emma down for a nap.
Joey: All right. Hey Rach, while you"re in there, throw something on Alicia Mae.
Phoebe: Alright, what are we gonna say?
Ross: Ooh, we"ll say that we were mugged! You can"t get mad at someone who"s been mugged!
Phoebe: Oh, good, that"s good, but you don"t look like you were mugged!
Joey: No. Here (he tears off the pocket from Ross" shirt, and tears off everything below that as well.)
Ross: (to Joey) HEY!
[Scene: Monica"s apartment.]
Monica: Do you hear something? (Chandlers stands up and goes to the door to look out from the peephole)
Chandler: (peeping) They"re out there!
Monica: Ohhh! Let me see! Oh God, I can"t believe this! They"re an hour late and they"re just staying out there, talking!
Chandler: (peeping) Everything is so distorted! Looks like Joey has a giant hand! Which says "Rangers" on it. They went to the game!
Monica: (gasps) Oooh! They are in for a world of pain!
Chandler: (looking through the peephole again) Ross" shirt is torn.
Monica: Oh! They"re late and they"re sloppy!
[Cut to the hall]
(Rachel comes out of her apartment)
Rachel: Alright, Emma is napping... (then to Ross) what happened to your shirt?
Ross: I got mugged. And they stole my pocket.
Phoebe: We"re just... we"re trying to figure out an excuse. Hey! Ooh! How about this: We can say that Monica told us 5 o"clock, not 4 o"clock. That way we"re right on time! (Others start to agree but she continues) OR... or, we can plant PCP in the apartment and call the cops on her.
Ross: (sarcastic) That would be a good way to get rid of all the PCP we have lying around.
Rachel: You know what, we just say that she said it was 5 o"clock. We"ll just act casual. We"re not late, we"re right on time. (When she finishes talking, a note is pushed from under Monica"s and Chandler"s door, into the hall. Ross picks it up and reads it out loud)
Ross: (Reading the note) We know you"re out there. (Rachel gasps)
Joey: (whispering) Who do you think its from?
[time lapse – they are still in the hall]
Rachel: Oh, God. This is bad. This is so bad.
Ross: Well, let"s just go in there and face them.
Phoebe: Well, I"m not going in first. I bet that vein on Monica"s forehead is popping like crazy.
Joey: I hate that thing, it"s like a... bolt of lightning.
Rachel: Oh, hey, I have an idea. Why don"t we play rock-paper-scissors, and whoever loses goes in first. (they all agree) Ready? (they do the rock-paper-scissor thing with they hands and Rachel has paper, Phoebe and Ross both have rock, while Joey is doing a strange upward wiggling with his fingers. They all look a him confused).
Joey: (smiling from ear to ear) Ah-haah! I win!!
Ross: What is that?
Joey: That"s fire. Beats everything.
Phoebe: Oh, really? Does it beat water balloon? (She places her hand over his "fire" and mimics a bursting water balloon, thus putting the fire out).
Joey: Ooh! Well played, Phoebe Buffay, well played.
Rachel: Alright, enough, enough, come on. Let"s just all go in at the same time.
All: Alright, okay. (Phoebe reaches for the door, and tries to open it but it"s locked)
Phoebe: It"s locked.
Ross: Wha...? Oh sure, now they lock it, but when they"re having sex on the couch, its like: "Come on in, my butt is surprisingly hairy".
Rachel: Alright, come on... (starts to knock on the door) Alright, you guys. We"re so sorry we"re late. Please let us in, so we can have dinner together.
[cut to Monica and Chandler]
Monica: No! Everything"s cold. The turkey"s dried out and the... the stuffing is all soggy.
Chandler: Yeah, and there"s a bowl of cranberry sauce that... (speaking lower to Monica) what happens to cranberry sauce?
Monica: (Rolling her eyes) Nothing. It"s fine.
Chandler: (relieved) Oh thank God!
[cut to the hall]
Ross: Come on you guys, we"re sorry, alri...? Our subway broke down.
Chandler: (looking through the peephole) That"s a lie, you went to the game, I can see Joey"s hand.
Ross: (to Joey, who is wearing a blue, 3 foot hand) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE IT OFF!! (takes it off his hand and throws it on the floor)
Rachel: You guys, come on, it doesn"t matter why we"re late. We"re all here now, please let us in so we can have some of your delicious turkey. (A slice of turkey on a piece of aluminum foil is slid under door)
Joey: I had a dream once about a fax machine that did that. (Ross picks it up)
[cut to Monica and Chandler]
Monica: That"s all the turkey you"re gonna get.
[cut to the hall]
Ross: How are we gonna decide who gets this?
Joey: (holds his fist up) WATER BALLOON! (he stuffs the slice in is mouth and gives the foil back to Ross)
Phoebe: What are we gonna do? I"m starving.
Rachel: (gasps) Oh, I just remembered. We do have something to eat. Monica put something in our oven this morning.
Phoebe: Oh yeah!
[cut to Monica and Chandler]
Monica: Hey, you touch that and you will be sorry.
Chandler: Guys, I"d listen to her. The vein is bigger than I"ve ever seen it. (Monica looks at Chandler)
[cut to the hall]
(Rachel comes out of the apartment holding a pot. Joey holds in anticipation and Rachel opens it)
Rachel: Huh... OH MY GOD IT"S BRUSSELS SPROUTS. (they all look appalled)
Ross: That"s worse than no food.
[cut to Monica and Chandler]
(Monica looks insulted)
Chandler: HA-HA! All you got was Monica"s stinky Brussels sprouts!
Monica: Stinky?!
Chandler: Please let me stay on this side of the door.
[cut to hall]
Rachel: Oh, I know... I still have my old key! (She goes in to get it and comes back with her keys) We can just unlock the door.
Phoebe: Well, I don"t know if that"s such a good idea. They clearly don"t want to be with us.
Rachel: You know what? I don"t want to be with them either, but it"s Thanksgiving and we should not want to be together, together. (Goes to unlock the door)
Joey: (to Ross) Just get in there and make a face to face apology, you know? Look them in the eye. I know I can get them to forgive us.
Ross: I don"t know...
Joey: I"m telling ya... (his eyes open wide and he looks like his eyes are about to pop out. He stares at Ross like this without blinking) I can do it.
Ross: (Staring back, and then breaks off) (To Phoebe and Rachel) Yeah, he can do it!
(Rachel finally manages to open the door, but the door chain is on.)
Rachel: Oh!
(Joey sticks his head through the gap. Monica and Chandler are now sitting at the dinner table. There is another smaller table full of food standing in front of the front door)
(Monica and Chandler do not look amused by Joeys head in the door)
Joey: Oh! It all looks so beautiful: the turkey, the stuffing...
(Monica is now smiling)
Chandler: The cranberries...?
Monica: Oh! Enough! A monkey could have made "em!
Joey: (still with his door wedged in the door gap, now opens his eyes wide and stares at Monica and Chandler as he did with Ross earlier in the hall) Hey listen guys, we feel really terrible.
Chandler: He"s doing that weird eye contact thing. Don"t look at him, don"t look at him! (They both look away)
Joey: Come on you guys, we want you to know we"re (His eye widen even more) very very sorry. (Monica and Chandler are now covering their eyes with their hands) (then to the others in the hall) Right guys?
(Ross head appears above Joey"s, Rachel"s below Joey"s and Phoebe"s at the bottom)
Ross: I feel terrible.
Phoebe and Rachel: So, so sorry.
Joey: (smiling) Now let"s not ruin this day. You worked so hard. Let"s move past this and try to have a nice meal all together, huh?
Chandler: The floating heads do make a good point.