- 小教板
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A lion once fell in love with a beautiful girl, so he went to her parents and asked them to marry her to him.
The old parents did not know what to say.
They did not like the idea of giving their daughter to the lion, but they did not want to enrage the king of beasts.
At last the father said, "We are glad to marry our daughter to you, but we fear that you might possibly hurt her. So if you remove your claws and teeth, we will give her to you."
The lion loved the girl very much, so he trimmed his claws and took out his big teeth. When he came to the parents again, they simply laughed in his face, and beat him out of their house.
一只狮子爱上了一位美丽的女孩儿,便找到她的父母向她求婚。
女孩儿的父亲不知道该如何回答,他不忍将女儿许配给野兽,但又害怕激怒这兽中之王。
于是父亲说:“我们很乐意将女儿嫁给你,但又怕你不小心伤害她,如果你拔去牙齿,剁掉利爪,我们就将女儿嫁给你。”
狮子非常爱这个女孩儿,于是他修剪了爪子,拔掉了尖牙后又去找女孩的父母。可是这时,他们嘲笑他,并把他赶了出去。
寓意:有些人轻易相信别人的话,抛弃自己的长处,结果轻而易举地被原来害怕他们的人击败了。
A Mistake
An American, a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident. They arrived at the gates of heaven, where a flustered St. Peter explained that there had been a mistake. "Give me $500 each," he said, "and I"ll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened."
"Done!" said the American. Instantly, he found himself standing unhurt near the scene.
"Where are the others?" asked a medic.
"Last I knew," said the American, "the Scot was haggling price, and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay."
英语幽默故事译文:
搞错了
一位美国人,一位英格兰人和一位加拿大人在一场车祸中丧生。他们到达天堂的门口。在那里,醉醺醺的圣彼德解释说是搞错了。“每人给我五百美元,”他说,“我将把你们送回人间,就象什么都没有发生过一样。”
“成交!”美国人说。立刻,他发现自己毫不损伤地站在现场附近。
“其他人在哪儿?”一名医生问道。
“我离开之前,”那名美国人说,“我看见英格兰人正在砍价,而那名加拿大人正在分辩说应该由他的政府来出这笔钱。”
I Am Acting Like a Lady
One day when women"s dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered by frantic women.
He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowed.
"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can"t you act like a gentleman?"
"Listen," he said, "I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."
英文幽默故事六译文:
我要表现得象位女士
一天,远东百货公司的女装大减价,一位高贵的中年男士想给太太买一件。可是,没过多久,他发现自己已被疯狂的女人冲得踉踉跄跄。
他竭力忍耐着。后来,他低下头,挥动双臂,挤过人群。
“你干嘛?”有人尖声叫道,“你难道不能表现得象位绅士吗?”
“听着,”他说,“我已经象绅士一样表现了一个小时。从现在起,我要表现得象个女士。”
Weather Predict
A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained.
A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm.
"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.
However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn"t show up for two weeks.
Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I"m depending on you. What will the weather be like?"
The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don"t know," he said. "Radio is broken."
英文幽默故事五译文:
天气预报
一个电影摄制组在沙漠深处工作.一天,一个印度老人到导演跟前告诉导演说"明天下雨."第二天果然下雨了.
一周后,印度人又来告诉导演说,"明天有风暴."果然,第二天下了雹暴.
"印度人真神,"导演说.他告诉秘书雇佣该印度人来预报天气.
几次预报都很成功.然后,接下来的两周,印度人不见了.
最后,导演派人去把他叫来了."我明天必须拍一个很大的场景,"导演说,"这得靠你了.明天天气如何啊?"
印度人耸了耸肩."我不知道,"印度人说,"收音机坏了."
The Miser守财奴
A MISER sold all that he had and bought a lump of gold, which he buried in a hole in the ground by the side of an old wall and went to look at daily. One of his workmen observed his frequent visits to the spot and decided to watch his movements. He soon discovered the secret of the hidden treasure, and digging down, came to the lump of gold, and stole it. The Miser, on his next visit, found the hole empty and began to tear his hair and to make loud lamentations. A neighbor, seeing him overcome with grief and learning the cause, said, "Pray do not grieve so; but go and take a stone, and place it in the hole, and fancy that the gold is still lying there. It will do you quite the same service; for when the gold was there, you had it not, as you did not make the slightest use of it."
有个守财奴变卖了他所有的家产,换回了金块,并秘密地埋在一个地方。他每天走去看 看他的宝藏。有个在附近放羊的牧人留心观察,知道了真情,趁他走后,挖出金块拿走了。 守财奴再来时,发现洞中的金块没有了,便捶胸痛哭。有个人见他如此悲痛,问明原因后, 说道:“喂,朋友,别再难过了,那块金子虽是你买来的,但并不是你真正拥有的。去拿一 块石头来,代替金块放在洞里,只要你心里想着那是块金子,你就会很高兴。这样与你拥有 真正的金块效果没什么不同。依我之见,你拥有那金块时,也从没用过。”
这故事说明,一切财物如不使用等于没有。
- 余辉
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* 回复内容中包含的链接未经审核,可能存在风险,暂不予完整展示!
- nicehost
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The mothers of four priests got together and were discussing their sons. "My son is a monsignor," said the first proud woman. "When he enters a room, people say, "Hello, Monsignor"."
The second mother went on, "My son is a bishop. When he enters a room, people say, "Hello, Your Excellency"."
"My son is a cardinal." continued the next one. "When he enters a room, people say, "Hello, Your Eminence".
" The fourth mother thought for a moment. "My son is six-foot-ten and weighs 300 pounds, " she said. "When he enters a room, people say, "Oh, my God"!"
Notes:
(1) priest n.基督教的教士 ;牧师
(2) monsignor n.阁下(对某些天主教教士的尊称)
(3) bishop n.主教(主管一城市或一教区之教务)
(4) Your Excellency 阁下(对主教的尊称)
(5) cardinal n.(天主教的)红衣主教(有权选举教皇)
(6) Your Eminence 对红衣主教的尊称
Exercises:
根据短文判断下列句子正(T)、(F):
① The four mothers were all proud of their own sons.
② The second mother"s son was a great lawyer.
③ The third mother said that her son was a high official in the
④ The fourth mother was ashamed of her son.
⑤ We can see from the passage that the fourth mother was the cleverest.
140.谁的儿子最伟大
四位牧师的母亲聚到一起谈论她们的儿子。“我的儿子是个教士,”第一位母亲自豪地说道,“他进入房间,人们都说,‘您好,阁下"。”
第二为母亲说:“我的儿子是位主教。他进入房间,人们都称,‘您好,大人"。”
“我的儿子是位红衣主教,”第三位母亲接着说,“他走进房间,人们都说,‘您好,尊敬的主教大人"。”
第四位母亲略思片刻。“我的儿子身高六英尺十,体重三百磅,”她说,“他要是走入房间,人们都说‘哦,我的上帝"!”
练习参考答案:
①T②F③F④F⑤T