- 北有云溪
-
Role paly ---Jingke put-out the king of Qin
旁白
Long long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. MrJingke was the most famous swordsman(剑客) and was sent to kill king of Qing. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, the show will tell you the truth.
Scene1
太子丹 (掏出镜子梳头,做自恋状):Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音:It"s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank you mirror! (面对观众) I"m the Prince Dan, the most attractive man in the world. But Yingzheng is a jealous guy, he would kill me if the mirror told him the truth. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?
阿三 (毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.
太子丹 I have told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!
阿三 Sure, honey!Let me see!(盘坐在地,两手在头上画画如一休)(旁外音:当当当,砰!!)(阿三起)Ok,I get one,we can sent a hero to put Yingzheng to(作杀状)
太子丹 Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
阿三 Don"thurry, honey.Tomorrow there will be a PK for the NO1 killer of the world. 太子丹 Well, show me the winner as soon as possible.
Scene2
西门吹雪(上台,摆出一幅酷式,手一张,一条纸带随风而下)
Today I came here for the fighting, who is the unwanted-life guy. Stand out. 荆轲(抖嗦而上)站在一边,不敢出大气。
旁白 Competition begins. 荆轲 (带剑冲向西门吹雪,半途停住)Are you really Xi Men Chui Xue? 西门吹雪Just come on. 荆轲 (又冲,停在西门吹雪面前)Are you sure you are really the Xi Men Chui Xue in the story? 西门吹雪(不耐烦)what a boring man! How dare you ask me such a stupid question? 荆轲 (环视四周见无一人,便拉住西门吹雪面前,大哭)My hero, I admire you just like the yellow river. I have eighty-year-old mother up, three-year-old boy down. Please don"t kill me. Give me the life, please!
西门吹雪(大怒)I thought Jingke is a hero. But you beg for life. Give me your life. (举剑刺向荆轲,忽然,捂住自己的肚子,自语) Maybe I ate too much this morning, Maybe there is something wrong with the rice. (抬头) where is the toilet?
荆轲 T-o-i-l-e-t-? 西门吹雪WC. 荆轲 W-C-?
西门吹雪(急)茅厕!! 荆轲 Oh, oh. Turn left, left and left.
西门吹雪下。
Scene3
太子丹 上(抱拳)How are you?
荆柯: Fine, thank you, and you?
太子丹: Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?
荆柯: Sure! Fine, thank you, and your wife?
荆轲欲走
阿三 Hero, wait for a moment. I have a problem which needs your help。
荆柯 I am busy now!
荆轲欲走
太子丹 You can gain a lot of things.
荆柯 I am very busy now!
荆轲欲走
太子丹 (慌了)I must use the last way. Ladies and gentlemen. This is Miss Huang! 【上海滩背景音乐】
有一妖艳女子走上(男扮女装),走到荆柯面前,给荆柯抛了一个眉眼。荆柯两眼发直。
荆柯
(站直,厉声道)Great man, both born and die for his motherland. I am not the guy who just wants money and beauty. What shall I do? Prince, just say it out. But this lady……
太子丹 No problem.
太子丹与阿三(击掌)Yeah!
Scene4
荆珂挽着那女子,太子丹在后,阿三一手拿着地图
阿三 We have already reached Yishui River.
荆珂 Please just stop here. Goodbye.
太子丹 Hero, Let me see you off a little further。
荆珂 What a boring guy. If you walk a little further, then you will go to Qin instead of me.
荆珂 【泰坦尼克背景音乐】(接过头,扔在一边。太子丹,阿三下,荆珂猛抱住妻子,泰坦经典动作)How can I express my feeling now? I don"t want to leave because I love you.
妻子 Don"t worry. Do you still love me?
荆珂 sure. I love you just like the mouse likes the rice.
妻子 Well. If so,you should not be fearful. I will be right here waiting for you.
荆珂 You must wait for me.
妻子 I will be right here waiting for you” 【我在这里等着你背景音乐】
荆珂上船,渐渐远去,(歌落)
妻子 It"s a good day to die. Never come back.
妻子(掏出手机拨号,阿三接手机): Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.
阿三 Okay okay! Scene5
卫兵 Are you ready?
秦王 Go!
荆轲上台下得瑟瑟发抖
秦王 Jingke. What"s wrong with you?
荆柯 I am fine, thank you ,and you?
秦王 (不烦)What"s the good things,give me quickly!
荆柯献图,图穷匕首见,荆柯举刀刺秦,两个人做老鹰捉小鸡状
大臣甲 “Mr King, drink the milk quickly!”扔了一奶壶,秦王接住,咂了一下,顿时,力大无比
秦王 how dare you kill me?You can keep silent,but what you say will be sworn testimony.What would you like to say?
荆柯 My lovely lady,Once there was a truest love put before my eyes ,but I didn"t cherish it. Only after losing it .I
found myself regretting. If God Could give me another chance, I would say to the girl “I love you! “If there had to be a limit of time before the end of love. I hope it would be ten thousand years.
秦王 (吼道)Soldiers carry out and put the pig head on the wall!! 秦王下,二个卫兵拖着荆柯上,甲搜身。 卫兵甲 Bad luck. He has no money,buttwo socks. 卫兵乙 Two socks?Put the socks out.
卫兵甲 极不情愿,拿出了一双大小不一的袜子.
卫兵乙 看了看,比了比。将长的装进了自己兜里,短的扔给了卫兵乙。This is yours and this is mine. 卫兵甲 Oh,no.It"s not fair.
荆柯 (站起来):My brothers, I have a good idea. If you do it,you will get lots of money. 二卫兵 Oh,please. Tell it to us! 荆柯 You can tie another person instead of me to put to death. Only the king recognizes me but he won"t watch my
death. So no one will find out the secret.
二卫兵 Good idea!!(竖指)荆柯去一边的树林里,拿出两张支票,扔给二卫兵便大步而去。 二卫兵 (双目相视,大笑,同声)Good!!
二卫兵 Oh, no. The money is counterfeit. Come back!
- cloudcone
-
q