西柚不是西游-
I was at a dinner in London given in honor of one of the most celebrated English military men of his time. I do not want to tell you his real name and titles. I will just call him Lieutenant General Lord Arthur Scoresby.
I cannot describe my excitement when I saw this great and famous man. There he sat, the man himself, in person, all covered with medals. I could not take my eyes off him. He seemed to show the true mark of greatness. His fame had no effect on him. The hundreds of eyes watching him, the worship of so many people did not seem to make any difference to him.
Next to me sat a clergyman, who was an old friend of mine. He was not always a clergyman. During the first half of his life he was a teacher in the military school at Woolwich. There was a strange look in his eye as he leaned toward me and whispered – "Privately – he is a complete fool." He meant, of course, the hero of our dinner.
This came as a shock to me. I looked hard at him. I could not have been more surprised if he has said the same thing about Nepoleon, or Socrates, or Solomon. But I was sure of two things about the clergyman. He always spoke the truth. And, his judgment of men was good. Therefore, I wanted to find out more about our hero as soon as I could.
Some days later I got a chance to talk with the clergyman, and he told me more. These are his exact words:
About forty years ago, I was an instructor in the military academy at Woolwich, when young Scoresby was given his first examination. I felt extremely sorry for him. Everybody answered the questions well, intelligently, while he – why, dear me – he did not know anything, so to speak. He was a nice, pleasant young man. It was painful to see him stand there and give answers that were miracles of stupidity.
I knew of course that when examined again he would fail and be thrown out. So, I said to myself, it would be a simple, harmless act to help him as much as I could.
I took him aside and found he knew a little about Julius Ceasar"s history. But, he did not know anything else. So, I went to work and tested him and worked him like a slave. I made him work, over and over again, on a few questions about Ceasar, which I knew he would be asked.
If you will believe me, he came through very well on the day of the examination. He got high praise too, while others who knew a thousand times more than he were sharply criticized. By some strange, lucky accident, he was asked no questions but those I made him study. Such an accident does not happen more than once in a hundred years.
Well, all through his studies, I stood by him, with the feeling a mother has for a disabled child. And he always saved himself by some miracle.
I thought that what in the end would destroy him would be the mathematics examination. I decided to make his end as painless as possible. So, I pushed facts into his stupid head for hours. Finally, I let him go to the examination to experience what I was sure would be his dismissal from school. Well, sir, try to imagine the result. I was shocked out of my mind. He took first prize! And he got the highest praise.
I felt guilty day and night – what I was doing was not right. But I only wanted to make his dismissal a little less painful for him. I never dreamed it would lead to such strange, laughable results.
I thought that sooner or later one thing was sure to happen: The first real test once he was through school would ruin him.
Then, the Crimean War broke out. I felt that sad for him that there had to be a war. Peace would have given this donkey a chance to escape from ever being found out as being so stupid. Nervously, I waited for the worst to happen. It did. He was appointed an officer. A captain, of all things! Who could have dreamed that they would place such a responsibility on such weak shoulders as his.
I said to myself that I was responsible to the country for this. I must go with him and protect the nation against him as far as I could. So, I joined up with him. And anyway we went to the field.
And there – oh dear, it was terrible. Mistakes, fearful mistakes – why, he never did anything that was right – nothing but mistakes. But, you see, nobody knew the secret of how stupid he really was. Everybody misunderstood his actions. They saw his stupid mistakes as works of great intelligence. They did, honestly!
His smallest mistakes made a man in his right mind cry, and shout and scream too – to himself, of course. And what kept me in a continual fear was the fact that every mistake he made increased his glory and fame. I kept saying to myself that when at last they found out about him, it will be like the sun falling out of the sky.
He continued to climb up, over the dead bodies of his superiors. Then, in the hottest moment of one battle down went our colonel. My heart jumped into my mouth, for Scoresby was the next in line to take his place. Now, we are in for it, I said...
The battle grew hotter. The English and their allies were steadily retreating all over the field. Our regiment occupied a position that was extremely important. One mistake now would bring total disaster. And what did Scoresby do this time – he just mistook his left hand for his right hand...that was all. An order came for him to fall back and support our right. Instead, he moved forward and went over the hill to the left. We were over the hill before this insane movement could be discovered and stopped. And what did we find? A large and unsuspected Russian army waiting! And what happened – were we all killed? That is exactly what would have happened in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred. But no – those surprised Russians thought that no one regiment by itself would come around there at such a time.
It must be the whole British army, they thought. They turned tail, away they went over the hill and down into the field in wild disorder, and we after them. In no time, there was the greatest turn around you ever saw. The allies turned defeat into a sweeping and shining victory.
The allied commander looked on, his head spinning with wonder, surprise and joy. He sent right off for Scoresby, and put his arms around him and hugged him on the field in front of all the armies. Scoresby became famous that day as a great military leader – honored throughout the world. That honor will never disappear while history books last.
He is just as nice and pleasant as ever, but he still does not know enough to come in out of the rain. He is the stupidest man in the universe.
Until now, nobody knew it but Scoresby and myself. He has been followed, day by day, year by year, by a strange luck. He has been a shining soldier in all our wars for years. He has filled his whole military life with mistakes. Every one of them brought him another honorary title. Look at his chest, flooded with British and foreign medals. Well, sir, every one of them is the record of some great stupidity or other. They are proof that the best thing that can happen to a man is to be born lucky. I say again, as I did at the dinner, Scoresby"s a complete fool
这个大概说就5分钟，是马克吐温写的，很有意思，可以考虑看看
这个是另一个故事，大概3分钟
The early years has a rightness of young men the matrimony in Alaska place in the United States, growing after getting married, his wife dies because I am difficult to produce, leaving one kid.
His favour life, and then be occupied in watching the house, because no one helps to look after child, train a dog, that dog cleverness obedient, can look after a kid, bite 著 milk bottle to nurse with milk to drink for kid, bring up a kid.
One day, the host go out go to, call it look after a kid.
He arrived another country, can""t come back on that day because of meeting heavy snow.The second genius rush through to go home, the dog hears noise to greet host immediately.He opens an of doors to see, is a blood everywhere, raise head on hoping, is also a blood on the bed, the kid is missing, the dog is nearby and readily ising also a blood, the host discover this kind of situation, think the dog goes into action, eating up a kid, having a fit under, picked up knife come to once the 著 dog""s head split, killing a dog.
Hear the kid""s voice after and suddenly, and then see him descend to climb to come out from the bed, the 於 is to start to embrace a kid;Although the body contain blood, do not get hurt.
He is very strange, don""t know to is what happened actually, seeing again a dog body, the meat of the leg had no, having a wolf side, the inside of still bites the meat of dog;The dog saved little host, but was killed one by mistake by the host, this was really the most astonishing misconstruction of world.
Note:Misunderstand of matter is a person usually Be doing not understand, have no rational, impatience, be in need of a thinking and can not make allowance for the other party in many ways, self-reflection oneself, the affection extremely excites of circumstance under take place.
Misunderstand in the beginning, namely always thoughted of the other party of thousand wrong ten thousand wrong;Therefore will make to misunderstand to sink more more deep, make not.
LocCloud-
A Dog and a Wolf
A wolf was almost dead with hunger. A house-dog saw him, and asked, "Friend, your irregular life will soon ruin you.
"Why don"t you work steadily as I do, and get your food regularly?"
"I would have no objection," said the wolf, "if I could only get a place." "I will help you," said the dog. "Come with me to my master, and you shall share my work."
So the wolf and the dog went to the town together.
On the way the wolf saw that there was no hair around the dog"s neck.
He felt quite surprised, and asked him why it was like that?
"Oh, it is nothing," said the dog. "Every night my master puts a collar around my neck and chains me up. You will soon get used to it."
"Is that the only reason?" said the wolf. "Then good-bye to you, my friend. I would rather be free."
一只狼快要饿死了，一只狗看见后问他：“你现在的无规律的生活一定会毁掉你，为什么不像我一样稳定地干活并有规律地获得食物呢?”
狼说：“如果我有个地方住，我没有意见。”狗回答说：“跟我到主人那里去，我们一起工作。”于是狼和狗一起回到了村子。
在路上，狼注意到狗的脖子上有一圈没有毛，他很奇怪地问为什么会那样。
“噢，没有什么，”狗说，“我的主人每天晚上都用一条铁链子拴住我，你很快就会习惯的。”“就是因为这个原因吗?”狼说道，“那么，再见了，我的朋友，我宁愿选择自由。”
南yi-
Little Red Riding Hood
Once upon a time there was a dear little girl who was loved by everyone who looked at her, but most of all by her grandmother, and there was nothing that she would not have given to the child. Once she gave her a little riding hood of red velvet, which suited her so well that she would never wear anything else; so she was always called "Little Red Riding Hood."
One day her mother said to her: "Come, Little Red Riding Hood, here is a piece of cake and a bottle of wine; take them to your grandmother, she is ill and weak, and they will do her good. Set out before it gets hot, and when you are going, walk nicely and quietly and do not run off the path, or you may fall and break the bottle, and then your grandmother will get nothing; and when you go into her room, don"t forget to say, "Good morning", and don"t peep into every corner before you do it."
"I will take great care," said Little Red Riding Hood to her mother, and gave her hand on it.
The grandmother lived out in the wood, half a league from the village, and just as Little Red Riding Hood entered the wood, a wolf met her. Red Riding Hood did not know what a wicked creature he was, and was not at all afraid of him.
"Good day, Little Red Riding Hood," said he.
"Thank you kindly, wolf."
"Whither away so early, Little Red Riding Hood?"
"To my grandmother"s."
"What have you got in your apron?"
"Cake and wine; yesterday was baking-day, so poor sick grandmother is to have something good, to make her stronger."
"Where does your grandmother live, Little Red Riding Hood?"
"A good quarter of a league farther on in the wood; her house stands under the three large oak-trees, the nut-trees are just below; you surely must know it," replied Little Red Riding Hood.
The wolf thought to himself: "What a tender young creature! what a nice plump mouthful - she will be better to eat than the old woman. I must act craftily, so as to catch both."
So he walked for a short time by the side of Little Red Riding Hood, and then he said: "See, Little Red Riding Hood, how pretty the flowers are about here - why do you not look round? I believe, too, that you do not hear how sweetly the little birds are singing; you walk gravely along as if you were going to school, while everything else out here in the wood is merry."
CarieVinne-
The Thirsty Pigeon口渴的鸽子
A PIGEON, oppressed by excessive thirst, saw a goblet of water painted on a signboard. Not supposing it to be only a picture, she flew towards it with a loud whir and unwittingly dashed against the signboard, jarring herself terribly. Having broken her wings by the blow, she fell to the ground, and was caught by one of the bystanders.
Zeal should not outrun discretion.
有只鸽子口渴得很难受，看见画板上画着一个水瓶，以为是真的。他立刻呼呼地猛飞过 去，不料一头碰撞在画板上，折断了翅膀，摔在地上，被人轻易地捉住了。
这是说，有些人想急于得到所需的东西，一时冲动，草率从事，就会身遭不幸。
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