- 可可
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我们曾经相信成功总是来自勤奋。然而,如今,一些人指出另一个看法,“运气是成功不可或缺的因素之一就是成功。”在我看来,运气也起着非常重要的作用,在个人的成就,当然,根据所付出的一切。
在许多情况下,努力工作是必不可少的一个人的成就。几乎所有的人,除了那些抚养的贵族家庭或其父母是百万富翁,需要注重学习。企业家,例如,不能建立任何生意不努力工作,保持学习。政客们,也有优势,必须研究竞争反对他的竞争者。拿我们的学生为例,如果我们不努力学习,我们无法了解世界,然后我们会在考试中失败,最后,不带着足够的知识,我们也可以在这里的社会。
然而,运气的确扮演一个重要的角色在一个人的成就。有时我们所做的不够好,几乎各种知识,在这个世界上我们的想法,了解足够的关于世界和我国社会帮助我们如何生存,商业,我们只需要一个机会。在很大程度上,运气作为类似于一个人成功的催化剂。例如,尼古拉斯,我的邻居,正是这样的人。大学毕业后,他热爱自己的企业。然而,正如我们都承认他是缺钱和经验,我们大多数人都不相信他的成就未来描述。和,没有人愿意借钱给他。然后,尼古拉斯是深受运气。我的邻居,来到一大笔钱,他的阿姨去世,最后建立了自己的公司。对所有的期待,他的公司是很成功的。
还有,好运有时能拯救人。有这么多的人在这个世界上生活在恶劣的环境下,无法获得初等教育。然而,也有一些个人与罕见的天才。他们只需要一个机会,来拯救他们的环境,不适合他们。拿我的同学凯茜为例。她是在一个贫穷的西部地区,它是如此落后,每个家庭成员可以自己洗澡每月一次。如果她没有得到了来自一个慈善家,她的捐赠将重复那种持续生活时,她的父母。她进入大学,我们最后发现她是一个很有前途的人以巨大的潜力。她擅长几乎所有的课程,而受到了所有的人。那是多么幸运改变一个人。
总之,运气是从事个体的成就。它非常肤浅说运气与成功。
第一段:
1. We used to believe that success (is always come) from hard working.
改成:comes,come是实义动词,除非是现在时否则前面不可用be动词
2. some people have (pointed out another opinion) about success
改成:point out a different view,后面有in my opinion,这里最好不要再用another opinion,语法上无错,只是建议
3. luck (also) plays an important role in an individual"s achievement
改成:also改成indeed,also“也”,indeed是“确实”的意思,如果前面说luck起了某个作用,这句用also是对的,但前面说有一种观点说luck很重要,这里作者是有些同意“确实”更恰当
4. based on (hard-work)
改成:his hardwork,his指代前面主句中的“an individual”,否则“靠努力工作”谁的不明确
第二段:
1. who (are bring) up in an noble family
改成:were brought,第一用被动语态,第二用过去时,表示“被抚养”
2. pay great attention (in studying)
改成:to study,pay attention to sth., 介词是to不是in,另外study本身可作名词表示“学校”
3. (build) any business)
改成:没有这样表示,建立生意-build up,发展生意-develop
4. Politicians, as well, must (study) to
改成:learn,study表示学习具体一门学科,学习知识用learn较多,尤其在后面跟动词不定式时,learn to do 的表示方式较好
5. compete against (his) (contenders)
改成:their rivals,因为指代的是politicians(政治家、政客)是复数,所以用their,另外contender一般指(运动比赛中)对手,非比赛的对手一般用competitor或rival,前面已经用了compete,所以这里用rival较好
6. (Take) (we) students for example
改成:us,take sb. for example的结构中,sb.是宾语,应该用宾格,“我们”的宾格是us;另外take应改成taking,因为这不是一个独立句子,是作后面句子的某个成分,所以用动词不定式或分词短语,这里用现在分词形式
7. , (and finally, not armed with enough knowledge, we may also fail in this society. )
改成:前面的逗号改成句号,否则本句过长,主谓不明。后面重起一个句子更清晰,Finally, we will not armed with enough knowledges nor make achievement in this society.
- wpBeta
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第一段:
1. We used to believe that success (is always come) from hard working.
改成:comes,come是实义动词,除非是现在时否则前面不可用be动词
2. some people have (pointed out another opinion) about success
改成:point out a different view,后面有in my opinion,这里最好不要再用another opinion,语法上无错,只是建议
3. luck (also) plays an important role in an individual"s achievement
改成:also改成indeed,also“也”,indeed是“确实”的意思,如果前面说luck起了某个作用,这句用also是对的,但前面说有一种观点说luck很重要,这里作者是有些同意“确实”更恰当
4. based on (hard-work)
改成:his hardwork,his指代前面主句中的“an individual”,否则“靠努力工作”谁的不明确
第二段:
1. who (are bring) up in an noble family
改成:were brought,第一用被动语态,第二用过去时,表示“被抚养”
2. pay great attention (in studying)
改成:to study,pay attention to sth., 介词是to不是in,另外study本身可作名词表示“学校”
3. (build) any business)
改成:没有这样表示,建立生意-build up,发展生意-develop
4. Politicians, as well, must (study) to
改成:learn,study表示学习具体一门学科,学习知识用learn较多,尤其在后面跟动词不定式时,learn to do 的表示方式较好
5. compete against (his) (contenders)
改成:their rivals,因为指代的是politicians(政治家、政客)是复数,所以用their,另外contender一般指(运动比赛中)对手,非比赛的对手一般用competitor或rival,前面已经用了compete,所以这里用rival较好
6. (Take) (we) students for example
改成:us,take sb. for example的结构中,sb.是宾语,应该用宾格,“我们”的宾格是us;另外take应改成taking,因为这不是一个独立句子,是作后面句子的某个成分,所以用动词不定式或分词短语,这里用现在分词形式
7. , (and finally, not armed with enough knowledge, we may also fail in this society. )
改成:前面的逗号改成句号,否则本句过长,主谓不明。后面重起一个句子更清晰,Finally, we will not armed with enough knowledges nor make achievement in this society.
后待续,初步认为有一定水平,但基础英语语法点还较薄弱
- 我不懂运营
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We always believe that success isthe result of hard working. However, nowadays, some people have pointed out another opinion about success, "Luck is an indispensable factor of success." In my opinion, luck also plays an important role in an individual"s achievement, of course, based on hard-work.
In many cases, working hard is essential to a person"s accomplishment. Almost all of us, except those who are bring up in an noble family or whose parents are millionaires, need to pay great attention in studying. Entrepreneurs, for instance, cannot run any business without working hard or keeping learning. Politicians, as well, must study to have advantages to compete against his contenders. Take we students as example, if we don"t study hard, we are not able to learn about the world, we will fail in exams, and finally, without enough knowledge, we may also fail in the society.
However, luck does play an important role in a person"s accomplishment. Sometimes what we have done are good enough. With knowledge of almost all sorts in world , knowing enough about the world and our society that help us to survive and launch a business, we just need a chance. Mostly, luck acts as something like catalyst in one"s success. For instance, Nicholas, one of my neighbors, is just such a person. After graduated from university, he is keen on building his own enterprise. However, we all agreed that he is lack of money and experience, none of us believe he can get achievement in the future described by himself. And, no one was willing to lend money to him. Then, Nicholas was favored by luck. My neighbor, coming into a big fortune at his aunt"s death, finally established his own company., his company is very successful now unexpectedly.
what is more, Luck sometimes can save a person. There are so many people in world live in poor conditions and cannot get primary education. However, there are some individuals with rare genius among them. They just need a chance, to help them out from the environment that not fits them well. Take my classmate Cathy as example. She was brought up in a poor western area of China, which is so backward that each of her family members can only have a shower once a month. If she did not get the endowment from a philanthropist, she will repeat the constant life as her parents do. Only after her entering our university, we eventually realized that she is a promising person with great potential. She does well in almost all classes and is admired by all of us. That"s how luck change a person entirely.
All in all, luck does work in an individual"s achievement. It is very superficial to say that luck has nothing to do with success.
- okok云
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改过的
We always believe that success isthe result of hard working. However, nowadays, some people have pointed out another opinion about success, "Luck is an indispensable factor of success." In my opinion, luck also plays an important role in an individual"s achievement, of course, based on hard-work.
In many cases, working hard is essential to a person"s accomplishment. Almost all of us, except those who are bring up in an noble family or whose parents are millionaires, need to pay great attention in studying. Entrepreneurs, for instance, cannot run any business without working hard or keeping learning. Politicians, as well, must study to have advantages to compete against his contenders. Take we students as example, if we don"t study hard, we are not able to learn about the world, we will fail in exams, and finally, without enough knowledge, we may also fail in the society.
However, luck does play an important role in a person"s accomplishment. Sometimes what we have done are good enough. With knowledge of almost all sorts in world , knowing enough about the world and our society that help us to survive and launch a business, we just need a chance. Mostly, luck acts as something like catalyst in one"s success. For instance, Nicholas, one of my neighbors, is just such a person. After graduated from university, he is keen on building his own enterprise. However, we all agreed that he is lack of money and experience, none of us believe he can get achievement in the future described by himself. And, no one was willing to lend money to him. Then, Nicholas was favored by luck. My neighbor, coming into a big fortune at his aunt"s death, finally established his own company., his company is very successful now unexpectedly.
what is more, Luck sometimes can save a person. There are so many people in world live in poor conditions and cannot get primary education. However, there are some individuals with rare genius among them. They just need a chance, to help them out from the environment that not fits them well. Take my classmate Cathy as example. She was brought up in a poor western area of China, which is so backward that each of her family members can only have a shower once a month. If she did not get the endowment from a philanthropist, she will repeat the constant life as her parents do. Only after her entering our university, we eventually realized that she is a promising person with great potential. She does well in almost all classes and is admired by all of us. That"s how luck change a person entirely.
All in all, luck does work in an individual"s achievement. It is very superficial to say that luck has nothing to do with success.