有2~3分钟的英语故事或笑话吗?

Todd:OK,Christian,what is your dream job,if you could have any job in the world?
Christian:My dream job is to become a diplomat representing my country,preferably in Japan.That's why I came to Japan to learn Japanese and hopefully obtain a master degree in International Relations.After getting my master's degree in International Relations,I would like to go home and enter the diplomat school for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs,which is a three year program,and then,after that hopefully come back to Japan and work for the Norwegian Embassy in Tokyo.
Todd:Must be pretty competitive.
Christian:It's very competitive,but I think if you know a certain language that not many people speak it gives you a competitive edge nevertheless so that's why I came to Japan because I know at this stage there are only 300 hundred people from Norway living in Japan and not all of them are here to study Japanese,they represent different companies or schools,or they're missionaries so,that's the track I'm on right now but we'll see how it goes in the end.
Todd:How about when you were a child,what was your dream job?Did you want to be a diplomat when you were say,10?
Christian:No,when I was ten I probably didn't know what I wanted to do.I was just too busy playing in the street,you know,having fun with my friends and these things.When I was that young I really didn't have a dream job like fireman,police.I never really went through that stage,you know.
Todd:I wanted to be a baseball player.
Christian:Alright,fair enough.
Todd:I'm still dreaming.
Christian:Oh,that's good.

可以水洗啊.洗洗煮了吃啊.
烧成灰是需要海带中的碘元素.碘元素会留下.这样起富集碘的作用.明白不?
要是直接的海带里的碘 是无法直接得到.要烧了它、、、
加水就是溶解碘元素呗.明白么?

I have a dream
When I was a little boy , I had endless dream.
My dream like a wide lea , which have too many dreams running together.
But , I only have a dream now. What's it ? It is become a computer engineer.
In many years ago , I was a poor boy , however , I am positively face it.
I strive to save money.When I was a third grade primary school pupil.
How glad I can buy the computer in the end.
I am start it amusedly.It like my life door was opening.
At that time, computer was my best friend.
So, I decided I will be a computer engineer.
Now I set a project for myself that If I become a computer engineer , I must raise to college.
If I want to raise to college , I will learn more and more english.
everyone both have too many dreams .
But , Do you make it clear that what is your objective? Yes , I do
How about you? I really wish you also have it.

A man came home form work late,tired and found his 5 years old son waiting for him at the door."Daddy,may I ask you a questIon " "Yeah,sure,what is it?" replied the man."Daddy,how much do you make an hour?" " If you must know,I make $20 an hour."" Oh,"the little boy replied,with his head down,looking up,he said,"Daddy,may I please borrow $10" the father was furious,"If the only reason you asked
that is so you can borrow some money
to buy a silly toy,then you go to bed." The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.After about an hour or so,the man had calmed down.And started to think.Maybe there was something he really needed
to buy with that $10 and he really didn't ask for money very often.The man went to the door of the iIttle boy's room
and opened the door."Are you asleep,son?" he asked."no daddy," replied the boy."I've been thinking,maybe I was too hard on you earlier." said the man,"Here's the $10 you asked for." the little boy sat straight up,smiling."Oh,thank you daddy!" he yelled.Then,reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.The man,seeing that the boy already had money,started to get angry agaIn.The little boy slowly counted out his money,then looked up at his father."Why do you want more money?Is you already have some " the father asked."Because I didn't have enough,but now I do."the little boy repiied,"Daddy ,I have $20 now.Can I buy an hour of your time Please come home early tomorrow.I would like to have dinner with you."

Europe's premier club competition was launched one month after UEFA's first Congress,held in Vienna on 2 March 1955 yet,curiously,the so-called "European Cup" was not a UEFA initiative.
French founders
Whereas many of UEFA's founder members were more interested in establishing a national team competition,the French sports daily L'Equipe and their then-editor Gabriel Hanot,were championing the cause for a European-wide club competition.Hanot,together with colleague Jacques Ferran,designed a blueprint for a challenge tournament to be played on Wednesdays under floodlights.
Sporting record
The tournament initiated by L'Equipe did not stipulate that the participating teams had to be champions of their country,but they invited clubs who they considered had the most fan appeal.Representatives of 16 clubs were invited to meetings on 2 and 3 April 1955 and the L'Equipe rules were unanimously approved.The first European Champions Clubs' Cup fixture was played in Lisbon and Sporting Clube de Portugal were held to a 3-3 draw by FK Partizan.The Yugoslav side won the return leg in Belgrade 5-2 to advance to the next round.
Madrid dominate
Real Madrid CF immediately made the tournament their own by winning the first five finals.Since then,other clubs have also enjoyed fruitful runs in the competition with AFC Ajax and FC Bayern München both completing three consecutive wins.However,no one club has been able to claim long-term domination.Ajax waited 22 years to add a fourth title to the hat-trick obtained in the early 1970s; Madrid's win in 1998 was their first in 32 years; and Bayern's penalty shoot-out success in Milan in 2001 ended a 26-year wait for their fourth success.
Liverpool success
Liverpool FC's four victories between 1977 and 1984 deserve special mention as the English club won its four trophies with essentially different teams.The Reds' European pedigree shone brightly again in 2005 when they battled back from 3-0 down to defeat AC Milan on penalties in what was perhaps the competition’s most exciting and memorable final.
Honours list
Real Madrid CF and AC Milan have been the most successful sides in the UEFA Champions League,winning the competition three times.Madrid are also the most successful side overall with nine triumphs,followed by seven for Milan,five for Liverpool and four each for Bayern and Ajax.Madrid also hold the record for final appearances,with 12.Milan's 2002/03 success came after a marathon 19 games from the third qualifying round of the competition all the way to their penalty shoot-out success against Juventus in the final.
Competition change
The major turning point in the evolution of the competition came in the 1992/93 season when the UEFA Champions League,involving a group stage in addition to the traditional knockout elements,was officially inaugurated after a pilot round robin during the previous season.The popularity of the group phase has witnessed the competition grow from eight to 32 teams with matches taking place on Tuesdays and Wednesdays across Europe

等级太低了,很难编,随便弄一下或许有些单词你就不认识了
Once upon a time,there was a hungry and thirsty wolf,it had no food and water for a long time,but it couldn't stop for a moment,or else it would be dead.it had to go forward.
when it went for several days,it found a bunch of ripe grape,it was very happy at first,it tried to get it,when it tried for several times,it found it is very difficult for it to get the grape,it gave up the grape at last,Simultaneously,it thought the grape was very sour.

1.CaCl2 白色 .
2.草酸钙
3.澄清石灰水 白色沉淀 CO2
4.除去草酸
5.人体胃液可否溶解草酸钙

可以在网上搜——餐厅英语.

((两只老鼠,父与子关系)), 有一天,儿子突然发现体会到,原来自己和自己的族人一直以来都在过着小偷般的生活.
Son: Dad, I just realized that actually we are thieves...and what we are stealing is...let's face it, garbage!
儿子： 爸爸,我意识到实际上我们是小偷…和我们偷的是什么…让我们面对现实吧,（我们偷的是）垃圾!
Dad: It isn't stealing if no one wants it!
爸爸： 如果没人想要它,这就不叫偷!
Son: If no one wants it, why are we stealing it?!
Son ： 如果没人想要它,我们为什么要偷呢?!
Dad: Food is fuel, if you get picky and don't put it into the tank, your engine is gonna die. Now shut up and eat your garbage!
Dad ： 食物是燃料,如果你挑剔,并且不放它入坦克,你的引擎死. 现在闭嘴并且吃你的垃圾!
Son: But if we have to be thieves, why don't we steal the good stuff in the kitchen, where the food is clean, not poison...
Son ： 但是,如果我们必须是小偷,我们为什么不在厨房里偷好材料,食物是干净的,不是毒物…
Dad: First of all, we are not thieves. Secondly, stay away from the kitchen, and away from the humans, it's dangerous!
Dad ： 首先,我们不是小偷. 其次,远离厨房和远离人,那是危险的!
Son: I know I'm suppose to hate the humans, but there's something special about them, they...they don't just survive, they discover, they create...
I'm just thinking that maybe one day we are all going to learn how to cook the food, just like them.
儿子：我知道我猜想仇恨的人,但是有些特别的,他们...他们不只是生存,他们发现,他们创造... 我只是想,也许有一天我们都将学会如何烹饪食物,就像他们.

相信未来
食指
当蜘蛛网无情地查封了我的炉台
当灰烬的余烟叹息着贫困的悲哀
我依然固执地铺平失望的灰烬
用美丽的雪花写下：相信未来
当我的紫葡萄化为深秋的露水
当我的鲜花依偎在别人的情怀
我依然固执地用凝霜的枯藤
在凄凉的大地上写下：相信未来
我要用手指那涌向天边的排浪
我要用手掌那托住太阳的大海
摇曳着曙光那枝温暖漂亮的笔杆
用孩子的笔体写下：相信未来
我之所以坚定地相信未来
是我相信未来人们的眼睛
她有拨开历史风尘的睫毛
她有看透岁月篇章的瞳孔
不管人们对于我们腐烂的皮肉
那些迷途的惆怅、失败的苦痛
是寄予感动的热泪、深切的同情
还是给以轻蔑的微笑、辛辣的嘲讽
我坚信人们对于我们的脊骨
那无数次的探索、迷途、失败和成功
一定会给予热情、客观、公正的评定
是的,我焦急地等待着他们的评定
朋友,坚定地相信未来吧
相信不屈不挠的努力
相信战胜死亡的年轻
相信未来、热爱生命
（可以根据时间有选择地朗诵.）

This is a story about loneliness and the search.Gorgeous blue stone by the vicissitudes of the journey but we seem to see,even a glimmer of hope of light,it can illuminate the darkness of the universe.
"Blue Stone continued to be abandoned,but continued to be treasure" ...but it is only a home,it's only dreaming and Miles went to a home ......

1.
张勇：你好,凯特,很高兴认识你,凯特：我也一样,张勇：你有什么爱好吗?比如：音乐,或者是运动?凯特：我从小特别喜欢音乐,而且最喜欢的是迈克.杰克逊的.我还有他的专辑,不如放学后来我家听听,怎么样?张勇：那太好了,就这么定了.
Zhang yong: hello, Kate, nice to meet you, Kate: me too, zhang yong: do you have any hobbies? For example: music, or movement? Kate: I grew up with music, and especially like the most like is mike. Jackson's. I have him as my album, listen to it and later school? Zhang yong: that's ok, so be it.
2.
张勇：凯特,最晚看《功夫熊猫2》了吗?凯特：恩,看了,非常棒.里面的熊猫很厉害.张勇：是的,我也比较喜欢,但是我更喜欢里面的那只猴子,非常活泼.
Zhang yong: Kate, most night watch "kung fu panda 2"? Kate: well, see, very good. Inside of the panda is very severe. Zhang yong: yes, I also prefer, but I prefer the inside of the monkey, very lively
3.
张勇：嗨,菲菲,今晚我们去看电影好吗?听说《功夫熊猫2》上映了.菲菲：是真的吗?呵呵,那太好了,不过我要跟爸妈说一下.张勇：恩,好的,下午我来接你不见不散.菲菲：好的,不见不散.
Zhang yong: hi, feifei, tonight we go see a movie? Hear "kung fu panda 2" revived. Feifei: is it true? Ha ha, that's good, but I want to talk with my parents. Zhang yong: well, good afternoon, I will meet you not linger. Feifei: well, it's a date.
4.
张勇：张经理,你看这期的广告是不是要交给我做呢?我们毕竟合作了很多年了?不是吗?张经理：是的,不过这次跟以前不太一样,不过我还是很相信你们,好吧,我们就在合作一次.
Zhang yong: manager zhang, you look at this stage is to give me the advertising? We after all cooperation for many years? Isn't it? Manager zhang: yes, but this time are not quite the same as before, but I'm still believe you, ok, we're cooperation again.
5.
张勇：这件衣服真是太漂亮了,菲菲?你太有眼光了.菲菲：是吗?这可是今年最流行的,呵呵.谢谢你的夸奖.张勇：呵呵,不客气.确实很漂亮.
Zhang yong: the dress is too beautiful, feifei? You're too good. Feifei: really? This is the most popular this year, ha ha. Thank you for your compliment. Zhang yong: ha ha, you're welcome. It's very pretty.
6.
张勇：菲菲,你觉得今年的福布斯谁是首富呢?菲菲：这个不太好说,他们对待金钱的获取态度不一样,不过我觉得还是比尔、盖茨.他是伟大的慈善家.应该是他.张勇：但愿是吧.
Zhang yong: feifei, you think this year's Forbes who is the richest? Feifei: this isn't too good say, they treat money acquisition are different, but the attitude I feel or Bill Gates,. He is the great philanthropist. He was supposed to. Zhang yong: I hope it is.
7.
我可是费了很大的劲,一定要高分啊.呵呵

As far as I am concerned, college students should study English , for the first reason, college students would face many challenges as well as opportunities in the future, English is so important for ...

我觉得对你比较有用
Writing a Speech Outline
An outline is a blueprint for your presentation.
It highlights the key logical elements.i.e.what points are being made to logically support the core message?
It highlights the key structural elements.e.g.introduction,body,conclusion,stories,high-level concepts
It links these elements together in a sequence,perhaps allocating very rough timings.
It can also map out the transitions between elements,although this may be deferred to a later stage of preparation.
Basic Speech Outlines
The basic speech outline template for structural elements is:
Introduction
Body
Conclusion
Similarly,the basic speech outline template for logical elements is the familiar advice:
Tell them what you’re going to say
Tell them
Tell them what you’ve said
Put these together,and you have the start of a generic speech outline:
Introduction — Establish topic and core message; list supporting points
Body
Supporting Point One
Supporting Point Two
Supporting Point Three
Conclusion — Recap main points; summarize core message; call-to-action
It is surprising how well this simple outline template works for a wide range of speech topics.Incidentally,this same basic formula can be seen in novels,short stories,movies,plays,reports,business briefings,emails,memos,and many other forms of communication.
Variants or Examples of Speech Outlines
Example:Story-based Outline
Some people believe that stories are the best building blocks for speeches.For example,in The Story Factor (Annette Simmons),the author claims that storytelling is the key to business communications.
Attention grabbing opening which introduces the topic and core message
Tell a story.
Make a point
Tell another story.
Make another point.
Tell another story.
Make another point
Memorable conclusion which ties together all three stories to support the core message.

Secretary (S):Good morning/afternoon.How can I help you,sir?(或Madam,看你所说的客人是男是女.不过这么简单的问题我想你应该知道的,不多说了)
Customer (C):Hello.I am here to see Mr/Mrs ___.
S:Can you please tell me your full name?
C:It’s XXX.XXX
S:Okay.Now,why are you here to see Mr___ again?I need to record it in our computer system.
C:I am here because of the fridge that I bought last month.It became faulty a week ago,so I went to your store to get it fixed.But when I arrived there,I was told that there is something wrong with the warranty document.
S:I see,so you need to see the manager to get it fixed.
C:That’s right,they told me to come here to see Mr___ and see if he can help with anything.
S:Alrighty,just let me check his schedule.Ummm… Mr___ is currently in a meeting with the managers from other departments.You know,just regular meetings.
C:So,is he free today or not?
S:Don’t worry,the meeting should finish around half past three.Would you like to sit down in the lounge and have a glass of water?
C:Okay,so that is about an hour from now.And thanks about the offer of the water,that was very kind of you,but I think I will walk around just outside while I wait.
S:Okay,whatever suits you the best!So,I’ll see you in an hour’s time.I hope things work out for you.
C:Thank you,and see you later.
是自己写的哦.里面有一些比较口语化的说法,不过你这个本来也就是对话嘛.

A:Good morning .The United Airlines .what can I do for you.
早上好.美国联合航空公司.我能为您做些什嘛?
B:Yes,I'd like to make a reservation to Boston next week.
是的,我想订一张下周飞往波斯顿的机票.
A:When do you want to fly?
您想何时去?
B:Monday ,september 12.
周一九月12日.
A:We have Fliight 802 on monday .just a moment please.Let me check whether there're seats available.I'm sorry we are all booked up for Flight 802 on that day.
我们有周一802次航班.请稍等.让我查一下那天是否有座.非常抱歉802次航班机票已订完.
B:Then ,any alternatives?
那还有别的吗?
A:The next available flight leaves at 9:30 Tuesday morning september 13.shall I book you a seat?
有一次航班在九月13日周二上午9:30起飞.我能为您订个座位吗?
B:er...it is a direct flight,isn't it?
哦...是直航对吗?
A:Yes it is .You want to go first class or coach?
是的.您愿意订头等舱还是经济舱的机票?
B:I prefer first class,what the fare?
我想订头等舱的机票.多少钱?
A:One way is $176.
单程是176美元.
B:Ok i will take the 9:30 flight on Tuesday.
好的 我将订周二9:30的机票.
A:A seat on Flight 807 to Boston 9:30 Tuesday morning.is it all right.sir?
一张807次航班周二早晨9:30飞往波斯顿的机票.对吗先生?
B:Right .can you also put me on the waiting list for the 12th?
对.你能把我放到12号等候名单中吗?
A:Certainly.may I have your name & telephone number?
当然可以.请您告诉您的名字和联系方式?
B:My name is Lorus Anderson.you can reach me at 52378651.
我叫Lorus Anderson.52378651您能和我联系.
A:I will notify you if there is cancellation.
若取消我将通知您.
B:Thank you very much.
A:My pleasure.
不客气.
看看吧,大概就这个样子!

以后这样的机会还很多,刚开始不用太紧张,随意自然一点就是最好的,关于话题,最好找你自己感兴趣而且比较了解的,这样讲的时候容易进入状态,发挥的更好.
介绍室友,创意不错啊,需要营造一种轻松愉快的气氛,这样就会引起其他同学的兴趣.
像这种课前的演讲是比较informal的presentation,不需要遵循什么模式.老师的目的是让你们感受用英语表达的乐趣,了解学习语言和使用语言的重要性,只要自然发挥就很好.

随便找一集“老友记”,里面大都属于情景的话,字幕上中英文应该都有的.去电驴或其他方式下载都可以.

In China,the Spring Festival in the most important festival.People usually have a long holiday.It lates seven days or more.Most of the families will have a big family get-together.The whole family will have a big meal on the eve of the Spring Festival.Everyone is happy.The most traditional food is dumplings.The Chinese think the dumplings will bring them good luck in the new year.On the first day of the Chinese New Year,people usually wear new clothes and visit their relatives and friends.They say“Happy New Year”to each other.People often go to the parks or go shopping.

A：Hello!
B：Hi!
A：Holidays are comin.How are you?
B：Fine,and you?
A：I'm fine too.What are you going to do during th e holiday?
B：I am going to take a trip.
A：Good idea.When do you plan to start?
B:Enn...About July the 30th.
A:Where are you going?
B：Shanghai.
A：Oh.It's really a wonderful city.
B：I agree with you.What about your plan?
A：I plan to take a part-time job.
B：Sounds nice.
A：Why do you think so?
B：I mean you can get more working experience.
A：Yes,I think so too.
B：Where do you want to find the job?
A：I haven't decided it yet.
B：I know a company which needs an employee.
A：Where is it?
B：No.XX XXRoad.So,let me take you there tomorrow!
A：THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
B：You are welcome.
A：Then I will give you a phone tomorrow.
B：OK
A：See you tomorrow.
B：SEE YOU

In my opinion, the movie “ the pursuit of happyness “ is a eaningful film, the hero of the movie is an active man. Though his life was very hard, his wife left because of the situation of their family...

首先 我不是给书做宣传 去找找美国式家庭教育,艾琳写的 我看的是汉语版的 应该有英语版的 足够你将20分钟

战国时期,齐威王与大将田忌赛马,齐威王和田忌各有三匹好马：上马,中马与下马.比赛分三次进行,每赛马以千金作赌.由于两者的马力相差无几,而齐威王的马分别比田忌的相应等级的马要好,所以一般人都以为田忌必输无疑.但是田忌采纳了门客孙膑（著名军事家）的意见,用下马对齐威王的上马,用上马对齐威王的中马,用中马对齐威王的下马,结果田忌以2比1胜齐威王而得千金.这是我国古代运用对策论思想解决问题的一个范例.
下面有一个两人做的游戏：轮流报数,报出的数不能超过8（也不能是0）,把两面三刀个人报出的数连加起来,谁报数后使和为88,谁就获胜.如果让你先报数,你第一次应该报几才能一定获胜?
分析：因为每人每次至少报1,最多报8,所以当某人报数之后,另一人必能找到一个数,使此数与某所报的数之和为9.依照规则,谁报数后使和为88,谁就获胜,于是可推知,谁报数后和为79（=88－9）,谁就获胜.88=9×9＋7,依次类推,谁报数后使和为16,谁就获胜.进一步,谁先报7,谁就获胜.于是得出先报者的取胜对策为：先报7,以后若对方报K（1≤K≤8）,你就报（9－K）.这样,当你报第10个数的时候,就会取得胜利.

First,English is a world language.It is said that you can communicate everywhere if you know English.Second,China is opposed to the opportunity to develop is economy worldwide.It is essential to know other countries' economic and cultural background.English is the key to the success.Third,more and more foreigners are interested in Chinese literature and culture.Mastering the English,we can better promote our heritage and let more people understand and like China.The little snail asks mother:why do we from birth,must shoulder the hard and heavy shell?
Mom:because our body does not have skeleton's support,can only crawl,also crawls not quickly.Therefore wants this shell protection!
The little snail:caterpillars sister no bones,also climb is unpleasant,why she but need not carry on the back the hard and heavy shell?
Mom:because caterpillar sister can become a butterfly,the sky can protect her anyway.
The little snail:but the earthworm younger brother didn't also bones crawls not quickly,also won't become a butterfly he what don't carry this hard and heavy shell?
Mom:because the earthworm younger brother will drill the earth,the earth will protect him!
The little snail crying:we pity,the sky,the earth do not protect nor protection.
Aunt snail comforts him:"so we have the shell!" We don't geogrophical,also depend on the place,we rely on yourself.
小蜗牛问妈妈：为什么我们从生下来,就要背负这个又硬又重的壳呢?
妈妈：因为我们的身体没有骨骼的支撑,只能爬,又爬不快.所以要这个壳的保护!
小蜗牛：毛虫妹妹没有骨头,也爬不快,为什么她却不用背这个又硬又重的壳呢?
妈妈：因为毛虫妹妹能变成蝴蝶,天空会保护她啊.
小蜗牛：可是蚯蚓弟弟也没骨头爬不快,也不会变成蝴蝶他什么不背这个又硬又重的壳呢?
妈妈：因为蚯蚓弟弟会钻土,大地会保护他啊.
小蜗牛哭了起来：我们好可怜,天空不保护,大地也不保护.Two pals are sitting in a pub watching the eleven-'clock news.A reporter comes on about a man threatening to jump from the 20th floor of a downtown building.One friend turns to the other and says,'I'll bet you ten bucks the guy doesn't jump.'
'It's a bet,' agrees his buddy.
A few minutes later,the man on the ledge jumps,so the loser hands his pal a $10 bill.'I can't take your money,'his friend admits.'I saw him jump earlier on the six-o'clock news.'
'Me,too,'says the other buddy.'But I didn't think he'd do it again.
打赌
两个好朋友正坐在一家小酒馆内观看十一点的电视新闻.一则新闻报道说,有个男人威胁要从商业区一座大楼的二十层跳下去.一位朋友转身对另一位说道：“我敢赌十块钱,那家伙不会往下跳.”
“赌就赌,”他的朋友欣然同意.
几分钟后,站在墙檐上的男人跳了下去,因而赌输的那位交给他的朋友一张十元的钞票.“我不能拿你的钱,”他的朋友承认道,“早在六点的新闻里,我就已见他跳下去了.”
“我也是,”另一位说,“可我想他不会再跳了!”
蜗牛妈妈安慰他：「所以我们有壳啊!」我们不靠天,也不靠地,我们靠自己.

范文一．
假设你是李华，在得知四川大地震的消息之后，作为校学生会主席，你决定给灾区的中学生写一封慰问信，主要内容包括：
1、得知四川发生突如其来的特大地震灾害，心情非常难过；
2、看到你们表现得非常镇定、坚强，感动得热泪盈眶；
3、患难见真情，全校师生向你们表示慰问的同时，共计捐款12万元；
4、美好家园可以重建，希望你们要看到希望、充满信心。